Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ Wife Allison Holker Candidly Opens Up About The Moment She Learned About His Suicide: ‘The World Went Black. The Walls Closed In…’

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For two years now, the dance community and beyond have been grappling with the heartbreaking suicide of Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss at age 40. His passing sparked an outpouring of tributes and condolences from veterans of Dancing With The Stars, his close colleague Ellen DeGeneres, and many others. In the aftermath, his wife, Allison Holker, has bravely shared her grief publicly. As she prepares to publish a memoir titled This Far, Holker recently revealed what transpired following her discovery of his death.

In December 2022, Holker’s boss tragically took his own life in a hotel room. Prior to this revelation, Holker had no idea where he was, assuming he had entered rehab due to his marijuana habit. However, when the police broke the news to her, it was a shocking and unbelievable moment, as she later recounted in her book, with an excerpt published by People.

Approximately twenty minutes after, the pair of officers up front were accompanied by another officer, who appeared older and rather kind-hearted. This newcomer approached our door, followed by the others. His gaze towards me was filled with empathy. He requested that I take a seat, but my heart felt heavy. Typically, they only ask you to sit when the news they’re about to share is extremely grim. I found it difficult to comply. If I didn’t sit, then perhaps whatever he was going to say wouldn’t be true. A somber atmosphere enveloped the room as I stood motionless. ‘I regret to inform you,’ he began, ‘that your husband has been located. He is not in rehab.’ The officer sat down at the kitchen table while I remained where I stood. ‘Your husband was discovered in a hotel. The maid found him. He took his own life.’ No. No. No. No.

Before diving into the details, let me share that I’d been feeling a void, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it before learning about my husband’s passing. A letter from Boss, penned two weeks prior to his disappearance, was the missing piece of the puzzle. It was a pledge he made to himself to kick his cannabis habit. Immediately upon discovering his absence, I reported him as a missing person and contacted the authorities without delay.

Surveillance video from her house revealed the dancer exiting to hail an Uber with a black bag. Police also found out that the gun Boss had bought in 2020 was no longer there. Holker stated that at the moment, “the possible implications of this absence were completely beyond [her] comprehension.” She didn’t understand the potential significance.

Additionally, she was reaching out to various recovery facilities in search of him. Unfortunately, none of them were able to disclose his whereabouts due to confidentiality regulations. However, one center did offer her the option to leave a message for him if he happened to be there, which Holker interpreted as a sign that he might indeed be there.

Upon discovering the body, she struggled to accept it as his, yet his distinctive tattoos and identification swiftly verified that it indeed was him.

In simpler terms, I informed them they encountered a Black man, but that didn’t imply they found my partner. Stephen would never condone the officer’s proposal. The officer, being careful, clarified that Stephen had left a note and his ID. He was identified through his tattoos, one of which read “I am… I have… I deserve…” At this point, my stomach tightened.

She shared that TWitch obtained his tattoo during a voyage to New Zealand. His plan was to revisit and extend the design to incorporate all their kids. Unfortunately, they didn’t get the chance to carry out this plan, as she described the tattoo as being “transformed into a grim symbol of identification.

Similar to Holker, numerous individuals found it difficult to accept the passing of tWitch. Ellen DeGeneres, a friend and fellow colleague, expressed her tribute by stating he was “pure love and light,” and this sentiment echoed in many other tributes. Holker’s perspective on her husband’s life and legacy has consistently conveyed that same message as well.

So, when he was suddenly gone it was unexpected and unfathomable, as Holker wrote:

In a panic, I dashed swiftly through the corridor, let out an eerie, unfamiliar sound. Never before had I heard such a noise coming from myself. I crumpled onto the floor, curled up like a baby, and stayed there for quite some time, emitting mournful cries as one of our assistants clung to me tightly. Nothing seemed to make sense in that moment. I was filled with terror, yet felt isolated even amidst another’s comforting hold. The world around me faded until it seemed as though everything stood still. It was as if time itself had come to a halt. I struggled to comprehend the reality: Stephen was gone.

Prior to Holker’s demise, it hadn’t been known that Boss was battling a drug addiction. Subsequent disclosures unveiled that he was also dealing with the repercussions of childhood trauma.

For the past two years since his demise, Holker has been diligently preserving his memory. She regularly shares her journey of coping with loss, personal updates, and heartfelt expressions of love for Boss.

Starting February 4, you’ll find This Far: My Story of Love, Loss and Finding Light, a memoir penned by Holker, on shelves. This book offers insights into Holker’s life, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and how she has coped with the emotional and financial repercussions of his decision. It also shares their journey towards a new phase in their lives.

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2025-01-08 04:37