Investment Firm Buys Bitcoin with No Interest for You: What Could Go Wrong? đŸ€š

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So, here’s what’s happening in the thrilling world of finance: Japanese investment firm Metaplanet has gone ahead and issued another set of thrilling 0% ordinary bonds. Yes, you heard that right, a whopping $13.35 million worth of “bonds” to EVO FUND, which sounds suspiciously like a name for a superhero team fighting against bad investment choices. đŸŠžâ€â™‚ïž

According to a notice that probably could have fit on a post-it note, this Tokyo-based investment firm is slapping down „2 billion to EVO FUND after a board meeting that was definitely more exciting than watching paint dry. This marks the ninth issuance of these so-called ordinary bonds—because ordinary just doesn’t cut it in the extraordinary world of crypto! 🎱

In a Mar. 18 regulatory filing (which is just a fancy way of saying they put their thoughts on paper), they declared that the funds are destined to be converted into more Bitcoin (BTC). That’s right, folks, this strategy is all about stacking those BTC holdings higher than my snack cupboard during a Netflix binge. 🍿

Now, here’s the kicker: these bonds come with a wild twist—no interest at all! Seriously, who needs it? They can be redeemed on Sept. 17 at a face value of „100 for every „100 of the bonds’ face value. But hold your horses! EVO FUND has the thrilling option to redeem these beauties early if they pencil in their request at least one business day prior. Who knew being a bondholder came with so much paperwork? 📅

As for the cash for this whole redemption circus? It will come from the proceeds of something they’ve dubbed the 14th to 17th Series of Stock Acquisition Rights. Sounds fancy, right? “Come on down to the stock acquisition buffet, where you can choose from Series 14 to 17!” đŸ„ł

And in an unexpected twist akin to finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag, the bond issuance will be fully allocated to EVO FUND with no guarantees—because who needs those? I mean, what could possibly go wrong? Metaplanet’s shares took a slight dip—a dramatic 0.5% drop to „4,030, a tragedy that could only be matched by an avocado toast increase in price. đŸ„‘đŸ“‰

Flashback to Feb. 27, when Metaplanet issued the exact same bonds worth „2 billion (what is this, a rerun?), declaring they were also buying more Bitcoin. Spoiler alert: they’re still buying more Bitcoin.

Since April 2024, Metaplanet has been on an epic quest to acquire more BTC, like a PokĂ©mon trainer but for Bitcoin. Most recently, on March 12, they snagged 162 BTC, bumping their total haul to 3,050 BTC, or over $251 million in shiny digital coins. If only we could all fund our retirement plans that easily! 💰

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2025-03-18 10:28