Crypto Chaos: Altcoins Tumble, Gold Glitters, and Trump’s Tariffs Stir the Pot

Ce qu’il:

By Francisco Rodrigues (All times ET unless indicated otherwise)

Oh, the crypto market is having a proper meltdown, darling. Investors are running for the hills, clutching their gold bars, as President Trump’s tariffs loom like a bad hangover. Bitcoin’s down 2.5%, but let’s be real, it’s the altcoins that are really taking a beating. Ether’s down 6%, XRP’s down 5.5%, and poor Dogecoin? A whopping 7%. Meanwhile, gold’s out here living its best life, hitting new highs. 🥇

Gold-backed tokens are thriving, with a market cap of $1.4 billion in March. Traders are clearly hedging their bets, especially with the U.S. personal consumption expenditure (PCE) report due later. That could shake things up even more, so buckle up, buttercup. 🎢

Bitcoin traders are also eyeing a record-breaking $12.2 billion in BTC options expiring today. But don’t get too excited—implied volatility is still low, and Wintermute OTC trader Jake O. says it’s not likely to move the market. “These expirations are yet to consistently move markets,” he said, sounding about as excited as a wet weekend. 🌧️

Spot bitcoin ETFs have seen consistent inflows since mid-March, adding nearly $1 billion. Meanwhile, spot ether ETFs are bleeding out, with $115 million exiting over the same period. Ouch. 💸

Goldman Sachs has raised its gold price target to $3,300 per troy ounce, with the potential to hit $4,500 in an “extreme tail scenario.” So, if you’re not already hoarding gold, now might be the time. 🏃‍♂️

Token Talk

By Shaurya Malwa

Some tokens are getting more love on social media than a cat video. Solana (SOL) is leading the pack, with Curve DAO token (CRV) and COTI also making waves. 🐱‍💻
Newly-issued Walrus (WAL) is riding a wave of interest, proving that even in crypto, people love a good meme. 🐋
Social chatter often precedes price movements, so keep your ears to the ground. Or, you know, your eyes on the screen. 👀

Derivatives Positioning

Global open interest has dropped to $105 billion, with $362 million in liquidations over the past 24 hours. Long positions took the brunt of it, because of course they did. 📉
Pepe, PNUT, and Worldcoin are among the biggest losers, while Toncoin, Berachain, and ACT are the only ones seeing an uptick. 🎭
The next significant liquidation zones are at $86,000 and $88,000, so expect some fireworks if we hit those levels. 🎆

Market Movements:

BTC is down 2.34% at $85,266.30. ETH is down 4.77% at $1,911.49. CoinDesk 20 is down 4.37% at 2,618.54. It’s a bloodbath, folks. 🩸
Gold is up 1.65% at $3,110.60/oz, because when the going gets tough, the tough buy gold. 🥇
Nikkei 225 closed -1.8%, Hang Seng closed -0.65%, and FTSE is up 0.29%. It’s a mixed bag, really. 🎒

Bitcoin Stats:

BTC Dominance: 62.04 (0.44%). Ethereum to bitcoin ratio: 0.02241 (-2.44%). Hashrate: 847 EH/s. Total Fees: 5.28 BTC / $449,016. It’s all numbers, but hey, numbers matter. 🔢

Technical Analysis

Ether continues to lag, struggling to reclaim former support near $2,110. It’s like watching a soap opera, but with more charts. 📊

Crypto Equities

MicroStrategy (MSTR) closed at $324.59 (-1.43%), Coinbase Global (COIN) closed at $188.58 (-2.77%), and Galaxy Digital Holdings (GLXY) closed at C$17.44 (-3.54%). It’s a red day, folks. 🚨