Chap Takes Bath on Bitcoin Bet, Old Bean! What-Ho! 🎩

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What-ho, dear reader! Here’s the topline, as Jeeves would say: 🧐

  • That frightfully peculiar Bitcoin thingummy has taken rather a nosedive, down 32% since January’s jolly high, dragging poor Metaplanet along like a reluctant pup at bathtime! 🐕
  • Metaplanet, poor devil, dropped 20% faster than Aunt Agatha’s soufflé on Monday, while Semler Scientific has been performing like Uncle Tom after a heavy night at the Drones Club – down 38% this year! 😱
  • Strategy, however, remains as cool as a cucumber sandwich at a garden party, still floating about in profitable waters with a 10% gain, what! Their stock merely stumbled 2%, like a gentleman after one too many gin and tonics. 🍸

I say, old thing: The chap scribing this piece has a few Strategy (MSTR) shares tucked away in his portfolio, don’t you know.

Right-ho! Just as the financial markets were getting their knickers in a twist over President Trump’s tariff business, the cryptocurrency market decided to join the party – and not the jolly kind we have at Blandings Castle! Bitcoin, the electronic money thingummy, took a dive that would make even Gussie Fink-Nottle’s newts blush, dropping to a mere $74,500. Rather like watching Aunt Dahlia’s reaction when Anatole threatens to resign! 😅

Strategy, showing the sort of wisdom Jeeves might approve of, is still paddling along quite nicely in the profit pool. They’ve splashed out some $35.6 billion, and by Jove, they’re still up by about $3.9 billion – the sort of return that would make even Uncle George sit up and take notice! 🎩

The company has squirreled away 528,185 of these Bitcoin whatnots, valued at a whopping $39.5 billion – rather like having a vault full of Aunt Agatha’s jewels, only digital! Their mNAV multiple – a frightfully complicated thing that Jeeves would understand – suggests the stock is still as popular as Madeline Bassett at a poetry reading. 🤓

Poor old Metaplanet, meanwhile, is doing about as well as Tuppy Glossop on a diet – down 20% in one day! And Semler Scientific? Well, they’re performing like Bertie trying to cook his own breakfast – down 38%, don’t you know! 😱

What a frightfully rum state of affairs! Rather makes one want to retire to the library with a stiff drink! 🍸

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2025-04-07 11:32