Shocking Crypto Twist: Are We All Surprised or What? 😳

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Crypto Highlights This Week: Alright, picture this: a week ago, our dear friend Bitcoin was sprawled on the floor at $74K—like it tripped on a banana peel—and now, it’s miraculously lounging above $84K. Honestly, is it too much to ask for a “Hey, I’m about to rebound!” heads-up emoji? 🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, other tokens like ETH, Solana, and XRP also hopped off the pity train and showed some sign of life. Naturally, we’re supposed to act impressed.

All this is happening while Donald Trump’s tariff drama hovers over our heads like a seagull desperate to steal fries. Luckily, there’s been a pause on new tariffs, sparing us from completely losing our minds. Risk assets have breathed a tiny, exasperated sigh of relief, which I guess is better than nothing.

In case you’ve been busy binge-watching questionable shows, below are some of the top updates reported by CoinGape Media in the past week. No, there won’t be a quiz after.

Weekly Crypto Highlights: BTC & Altcoins Recover

So, yes, BTC managed to claw its way above $84K, up roughly 1.5% in seven days. That’s like a lukewarm clap, but we’ll take it. ETH, SOL, and XRP decided to join the rebound party too, all sporting gains between 2% and 7%. Honestly, it’s as if they’re saying, “Relax, we’re not dead yet.”

Much of this “enthusiasm” came after the U.S. CPI data turned out not-so-bad—2.4% in March, if we’re counting. Apparently, that’s the sweetness the crypto market needed after the Trump Tariff Tantrum. Then—like a cherry on top—Trump announced that certain tech products would be free from his tariff heartburn. So, hooray for more reasons to keep scrolling obsessively through our portfolios.

But let’s not get too comfortable. Larry Fink from BlackRock chimed in with a not-so-subtle reminder that the U.S. could be barreling toward a recession. Great, just what we needed—a dash of potential economic doom in our morning cereal. If that happens, the Federal Reserve might start handing out liquidity like candy at a parade, which could be music to the ears of crypto fanatics.

Other Major Highlights This Week

Meanwhile, whales have been making splashes all over the crypto seas, eyeing up tokens like some kind of all-you-can-eat buffet. Ripple whales moved around $414 million worth of XRP. I mean, $414 million? That’s enough to buy a whole lot of bagels. Naturally, everyone’s going nuts, trying to figure out if this signals good or terrible things to come.

Dogecoin whales weren’t slacking either. They scooped up 1.83 billion DOGE coins—apparently feeling a bit “doggone” optimistic after 21Shares hinted at a Dogecoin ETF. Gotta love it when memes become million-dollar decisions. 🤪

Finally, Japan decided it wanted in on the fun, introducing new crypto regulations. Makes sense—nothing screams forward-thinking like bureaucracy, right? Anyway, these were the top crypto highlights this week, and hopefully they don’t make you want to put your head through a wall… too much.

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2025-04-13 09:19