You Won’t Believe How a North Korean Hacker Tried to Get Hired at Kraken 🤯

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So, picture this: You’re running a big fancy crypto exchange—Kraken, for instance. Everyone’s sitting around, LinkedIn resumes in one hand, existential dread in the other (because, you know, crypto). Next thing you know, someone strolls into your interview queue, supposedly a software engineer. Nothing weird there, right? Wrong. Soooo wrong.

First red flag? The guy hops in the Zoom under a completely different name. He might as well have logged in as “Definitely Not a North Korean Operative #4.” I mean, are we hiring actors or engineers here? 🎭

But it gets better! Every so often, his voice changes. Like, mid-sentence, it’s a whole new personality. Either he’s getting play-by-play coaching, or the CIA’s running mock interviews now. I’m expecting someone to say, “Is this your final answer?” and hand out a million-dollar check. 💸

He’s logging in through a VPN and multiple colocated Mac desktops. Honestly, the only thing missing was a ransom note and an order for a large pepperoni pizza delivered to the DMZ.

Kraken’s team, not exactly born yesterday, starts connecting the dots (and emails)—turns out the email is one of those “Congratulations, you’ve won spyware!” addresses flagged by half the industry. You know, the type that makes your IT team physically age twenty years.

So what do they do? Show him the door? Nah, they play along! They push him into even more interviews. I mean, why not, right? Who doesn’t want secret North Korean infiltration tactics explained, maybe with PowerPoint slides and a dramatic musical interlude?

For the grand finale: Kraken’s top security guy Nick “No Nonsense” Percoco jumps on a call and starts with classic trick questions like, “Tell me the best coffee place in your town.” The guy hesitates—”Uh, Starbucks?” Gotcha. And then he fumbles live ID verification, which is sort of like failing the ‘Are you a robot?’ test but with way more international tension.

So, plot twist: North Korean hackers are now job-hunting their way into crypto exchanges, probably hoping for a 401(k) and some company swag. And apparently, it’s not a one-off thing—2024 is on pace to hand over more money to hackers than to certain governments! Everyone keep their resumes honest, okay? Or at least use your real voice. 🕵️‍♂️🥸

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2025-05-02 15:46