Crypto Shennanigans: Mt. Gox Claims and the Bitcoin Chase

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Crypto Shennanigans: Mt. Gox Claims and the Bitcoin Chase

In the shadowy corridors of financial madness, Vivek Ramaswamy’s Strive embarks on a quest—a noble, or perhaps foolish, endeavor to amass a treasure trove of 75,000 Bitcoin lost in the mists of Mt. Gox. Yes, that infamous crypto exchange that vanished into the ether, taking a mountain of Bitcoin (or was it just vapor?) with it. Ah, the sweet smell of opportunity—discounted claims and desperate hopes. 🤑

Strive, in its infinite wisdom, announced on May 20—like a dawn breaking over a sinking ship—that it has allied with 117 Castell Advisory Group LLC. Together, they aim to wrest legal rulings into actual Bitcoin bounty, still waiting patiently to be handed over, kind of like a cryptographic pie in the sky. Sure, they say it’s about legal clarity, but everyone knows it’s about grabbing Bitcoin at bargain prices—because who doesn’t love a good discount on digital gold? 🪙

They plan to grow their Bitcoin per share ratio—though nobody quite admits how much they’ve already snarfed up in the shadows. And all this, before their great “reverse merger” with Asset Entities, expected sometime later this year—because nothing says stability like a corporate juggling act! ✨

Curiously, Strive claims to be in the dark about how much Bitcoin they truly hold, yet they assure us they have fewer restrictions than those pesky SPAC companies. Little do they know, the crypto rollercoaster always has a surprise or two up its digital sleeve. 🎢

Bitcoin Claim Illustration

Shareholders, brace yourselves! Strive will need your gilded approval to chase after Mt. Gox’s ghostly claims. A filing with the SEC looms, promising to unveil all the juicy details—like a cryptic scroll from the medieval blockchain. A proxy statement will then be sent, most likely with a flourish, seeking your blessing—or doom. 👀

Hurry, dear shareholders, for Mt. Gox plans to pay off its creditors by October 31—mark the date, or miss out on the historic madness. The exchange, once the titan of Bitcoin in Japan, succumbed in 2014 after a security breach that made Fort Knox look amateurish: 750,000 Bitcoin vanished—perhaps into the pockets of crypto ghosts or just a really elaborate scam. Who’s to say? 👻

Strive’s pivot towards becoming a Bitcoin treasury is part of a broader industry obsession—a company after company, like a digital version of the gold rush, scrambling to hoard Bitcoin as a long-term “strategic” asset (or so they claim). Meanwhile, Twenty One Capital, backed by Tether, SoftBank, and Cantor Fitzgerald, plans to launch with a whopping 42,000 Bitcoin—because why not add more chaos to the chaos? ✨

Asset Entities shares bounce back—because apparently, hope is still a thing

Asset Entities (ASST), that social media marketing company turned crypto darling, has shot up 18.2% to $7.74—likely riding on the coattails of Mt. Gox’s revival plan. Yes, it’s a rollercoaster—market cap now at $122.1 million, up a staggering 1,170% since Strive’s grand merger announcement. The magic of speculation! 🎩

Once the dust settles, Strive will own 94.2%, holding the digital purse strings tightly, while Asset Entities keeps a modest 5.8%. They will continue to trade under the same ticker—an enduring symbol of the chaos and hope intertwined in the crypto circus. 🤡

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2025-05-21 04:13