OMG! Crypto VCs are BACK (and Richer Than Ever)! 🤑

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So, apparently, this Dutch investment firm, Theta Capital, has managed to scrape together a whopping $175 million. I mean, who even HAS that kind of money lying around? Probably someone who doesn’t have to clip coupons at the grocery store, that’s for sure. Anyway, they’re using it to back crypto VCs. Because apparently, regular VCs just aren’t risky enough. 🤷‍♀️

Theta Capital Management, because every company needs a fancy-sounding name, has convinced someone (or a lot of someones) to give them $175 million. The goal? To help institutional investors, you know, the folks who already have enough money to buy small countries, get in on the ground floor of blockchain startups. It’s like playing Monopoly with real money, except the stakes are higher, and the potential for losing everything is…well, pretty high. 😬

This new fund, cleverly named Theta Blockchain Ventures IV (because creativity is clearly overrated), will be throwing cash at venture capital firms that specialize in crypto. I learned all this from Bloomberg, who apparently got it from Ruud Smets, the company’s managing partner and chief investment officer. Ruud sounds like a character from a Wes Anderson movie. I bet he wears corduroy suits and has a collection of antique staplers. 🤔

Founded in 2001, this Netherlands-based firm (because everything cool comes from Europe, right?) decided to jump on the crypto bandwagon in 2018. Now, they’re managing around $1.2 billion in assets. That’s enough to buy a lifetime supply of stroopwafels. They’ve previously backed firms like Coinfund, Polychain Capital, and Castle Island Ventures. How they plan to spend the new cash? Your guess is as good as mine. Probably on more stroopwafels. 🤤

Apparently, crypto venture capital is making a comeback. According to a report by PitchBook (which sounds like a rejected Harry Potter spell), VC deal value in Q1 rose to $6 billion. That’s double what it was last year. But, surprise, the number of deals actually went down. So, basically, fewer people are getting bigger slices of the pie. Sounds about right. 🙄

PitchBook’s senior crypto analyst, Robert Le (probably no relation to Ruud Smets), pointed out that the $1.4 billion Bybit theft was a “stark reminder” of the risks involved. You think? It’s like leaving your keys in the ignition of your car on the street and expecting it to be there in the morning. 🤦‍♀️

Robert also thinks this theft might drive demand for better security measures. You know, like not storing all your digital gold in a digital vault with a digital padlock made of digital cheese. He thinks startups working on these areas might get more funding. Good luck with that. 🤞

And even though Bitcoin hit a record high, venture capital activity in crypto startups remained flat. Deal size is down nearly 90% since 2018. So, basically, everyone’s rich on paper, but nobody’s actually spending any money. Classic crypto. 🤣

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2025-05-21 11:01