Coinbase Data Breach: 69,461 People Exposed and a Whole Lot of Awkward Emails! 😱

In a twist that could only be described as a cosmic joke, Coinbase’s legal team has revealed that a staggering 69,461 unsuspecting souls have been caught in the crossfire of a data breach that could make even the most seasoned intergalactic traveler raise an eyebrow.

According to a rather alarming filing with the Maine Attorney General’s Office (because where else would you file such a thing?), this breach, which occurred in the dimly lit corners of late December, was only discovered by Coinbase after a series of unfortunate events that could rival any soap opera.

It appears that a band of nefarious criminals, possibly with a flair for the dramatic, managed to bribe a handful of overseas customer support agents. These agents, perhaps in a moment of weakness or a particularly bad cup of coffee, decided to copy the data of less than 1% of the firm’s monthly transacting users. Bravo, team! šŸŽ­

What did these hackers get their grubby little hands on, you ask? Well, it includes names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, and even masked social security numbers (just the last four digits, because why not keep some mystery?). They also snagged masked bank-account numbers, some bank account identifiers, government-ID images, and a smattering of corporate data. The exchange, in a fit of responsibility, notified the impacted customers via email on May 15th, presumably with a subject line that read, ā€œSurprise!ā€

Coinbase discovered the hack after receiving an email demanding a $20 million Bitcoin (BTC) ransom, which is a rather bold move considering the current state of the universe. The company, in a display of defiance that would make any hero proud, refused to pay the ransom and now estimates it will shell out between $180 million to $400 million in remediation costs and voluntary customer reimbursements. Talk about a costly lesson in cybersecurity!

In a video that was likely filmed in a state of mild panic, Coinbase chief executive Brian Armstrong assured the world that they would pay back the impacted customers, bolster their cyber defenses, and relocate certain overseas customer support operations. Because nothing says ā€œwe careā€ quite like a corporate video in the age of digital chaos!

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2025-05-22 15:06