Well now, folks, if ever there was a spectacle fit for riverboat gossip, it’s this week with Bitcoin struttin’ around like a peacock in a storm—price pegged near $105,000, after tumbling and bouncing like a cat thrown onto a hot tin roof. All thanks to the endlessly entertaining shake-up over yonder in the Middle East. Even the Mississippi ain’t seen currents like these.
But don’t go wading in just yet—more whirlpools ahead. The fellas over at the US Federal Reserve are having themselves a jolly old meeting today, and by the time they’re done, even the poker players in the corner expect no change in interest, though one or two might bet the farm just for sport.
BTC: Dancin’ Around $105K (Hold Onto Your Hat!)
Seems Israel up and fired off a surprise at Iran last Friday, which dropped Bitcoin harder than a sack of potatoes in a steamboat kitchen—from $108,400 down below $103,000 in a blink. The dueling continued, missiles did their little jig, and wouldn’t you know, by the weekend ol’ BTC was trying to dust itself off. Come the business week, these crypto bulls charged back, pushing the price up to around $109,000.
Of course, that much good luck in one sitting is like finding gold at a church picnic—short-lived. Bitcoin faced the business end of another rejection quicker than a snake oil salesman at a temperance meeting. Just as Trump rattled his saber at Iran, the price dove under $103,500 yesterday, reminding us all that international politics loves a dramatic plot twist.
BTC did a little bounce since, poked its head above $105,600 for just a minute, and then slunk back under $105,000. If you like wild rides, put down your Mark Twain novel and watch the price when the fed folks open their mouths later today. Glory be, the suspense is thicker than a river fog!
Market cap now? Below $2.090 trillion on CG, so some wallets are feeling skinnier than Tom Sawyer’s excuses. BTC’s dominance is nearly 62%—the rest of those alts are lookin’ as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Alts in Red (Bring Out the Lifeboats!)
If you thought Bitcoin was having a rough time, take a gander at the altcoins. Most of them lost ground quicker than Huck Finn running from Aunt Polly. Ethereum’s flirting dangerously close with $2,500, XRP’s fallen to $2.15 after a 3% spill, and peers like SOL, HYPE, ADA, LINK, UNI, and, yes, even the illustrious PEPE, all took a licking. SUI felt the worst of it, down over 6%—that’s enough to make any investor chew their hat.
Still, not all is gloom and doom. KAIA’s up 5% (someone get that coin a medal!), SEI and NEXO both squeezed out 2%. But SKY, FARTCOIN (no jokes here—the name is its own punishment), TKX, and VIRTUAL found new and creative ways to disappoint their fans.
Crypto’s communal piggy bank shed another $60 billion overnight, now weighing in at a mere $3.380 trillion on CG. Might be time to check those couch cushions for spare change!

Ah, the joys of crypto. If you’re in it for the long haul, friend, I suggest you keep your wits about you, your wallet close, and your sense of humor in full working order. After all, when the markets are wilder than the tales of Tom and Huck, best to sit back and enjoy the show. 🚤💸
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2025-06-18 11:56