Massive Crypto Seized: Are Terrorists Really Just Bad Investors? 🤔💰

In a dramatic turn of events worthy of a gripping novel or perhaps a half-baked film plot, the U.S. Department of Justice, along with the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia, has ceremoniously unveiled a civil forfeiture action aimed squarely at a staggering $2 million in digital currency. This tidy sum, wrapped up in the enigmatic world of Tether Limited and Binance Holdings LTD, is linked to none other than the illustrious Buy Cash Money and Money Transfer Company—the financial whisperer to Hamas lurking in the shadows of Gaza!

U.S. Attorney Jeanine Ferris Pirro, Attorney General Pamela Bondi, and the ever-watchful FBI Assistant Director Steven J. Jensen have taken a moment from their busy schedules to crow about this act of justice, as if they’ve just bagged a rogue elephant. The aim? To disrupt the nefarious financial webs spun by terrorists, who, let’s face it, may just be the worst kind of investors out there. The forfeiture comes on the heels of a checkered history involving Buy Cash and its ringleader, Ahmed M. M. Alaqad—who seems to have been a socialite among various short-lived, disastrous organizations like ISIS and Al-Qaida. No surprise there!

According to the buzzing complaint, it appears that users cleverly funded accounts at Tether and Binance, presumably under the impression that they were hatching some genius scheme, to sneakily funnel their pennies to Hamas. One such account reportedly received no small change—at least $4 million—as if they were contributing to a dubious Kickstarter for a questionable video game rather than funding terrorism. What a world we live in! 😂

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2025-07-23 11:27