Key points (because someone thinks bullet points are a thing):
Ether is currently orchestrating a short squeeze of such epic proportions that it could be the centerpiece of a crypto history museum (if only they had museums for this sort of thing, and if only we cared).
Just a smidgen of a 10% price bump could send another $1 billion in shorts straight down the liquidate express! 🚂💨
The shorts, bless their ill-fated souls, should now act as fuel for a spectacular $4,000 ETH rebound. Let the chaos commence!
So, Ether (ETH) is ostensibly “making history,” because why settle for a quiet life when you can have dramatic price gains that make the rest of the crypto world weep? 😢
Fresh off the press from the analytical acrobatics at The Kobeissi Letter, they audaciously predict that ETH/USD may just pop its head above the illustrious $4,000 threshold “soon.” It’s like waiting for the kettle to boil but with higher stakes and fewer chances for tea.
Ether shorts: the unwitting participants in their own soap opera, as ETH eyes 2025 highs
Ether’s price resilience has become the star of July’s crypto market show, while altcoins linger around like tourists trying to figure out the local bus routes, all hoping to tag along as Bitcoin (BTC) ascends.
As the overachieving largest altcoin by market cap, Ether has taken to punishing short positions at a rate that would make even the most sadistic of brokers raise an eyebrow.
“Ethereum is making HISTORY!” cried the Kobeissi organization into the digital abyss. “Currently, we’re witnessing one of the LARGEST short squeezes in crypto history,” they summarized, probably while clutching their pearls in excitement.
“Ethereum has added a staggering +$150 BILLION in market cap since July 1st, just days after net SHORT exposure hit record highs. Quite the coincidence, eh?”
According to the number-whisperers at CryptoMoon Markets Pro and TradingView, ETH/USD had the audacity to gain a tidy 20% over the past week alone. How rude! 😲
Local highs of $3,610 on Bitstamp seem almost nostalgic, as they hover around a year-to-date record from early January. Compared to its 2025 low, the pair is up over 150%, proving that the little altcoin that could is quite the engine.
Now, bubbling from the cauldron of analytics, Kobeissi dares to predict that $4,000 will indeed materialize soon, and they also foresee a lingering continuation of the short squeeze—like that piece of spinach stuck in your teeth that just won’t go away.
“If Ethereum manages to rise another 10%, there’ll be a cascade of $1 billion in shorts facing their own financial music,” they calculated, with a mischievous grin, thanks to insights from the savvy sleuths over at CoinGlass.
“Moreover, many of these shorts are leveraged. Just imagine the pressure! Ethereum could be zooming to $4,000 any day now. Buckle up!”
Bitcoin dominance: taking a breather and dropping to March lows
Meanwhile, Bitcoin has settled down, fiddling its thumbs as it consolidates below the oh-so-crucial $120,000 mark. Or perhaps it’s feeling just a smidgen insecure—who knows?
At the same time, cash seems to be merrily flowing into altcoins, much like a river bursting its banks, as traders fancy quicker returns that make their financial hearts race. 🏃♂️💨
Bitcoin’s claim on the overall crypto market cap has halted like a car running out of gas, dropping to 61.4% this week—its lowest since March. Talk about a humbling statistic!
“$BTC.D has only slipped 4.5% from the local highs, and already we can see its ripple effects among altcoins and ALT/BTC pairs,” noted the ever-watchful trader Daan Crypto Trades on X, where profound commentary meets social media chaos.
Daan ominously prophesized that as the market sways towards looking “extremely overheated or shaky,” capital will inevitably return to the sanctuary of $BTC and Cash/Stables—just like that friend who always crashes on your couch after a wild night out.
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2025-07-19 13:35