Bitcoin Bulls vs Bears: How Many Zeroes Can You Scream?

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Picture this: crypto Twitter (sorry, X… whatever) is at it again, and our dear Bitcoin is caught in an existential crisis between $94,000 and $114,000. Should I stay or should I go—straight into a therapist’s office? 🍷

According to a poll by crypto analyst Matthew Hyland (our generation’s oracle—you know, if the oracle had an internet connection and some serious opinions), 1,300 keyboard warriors split almost perfectly between “panic sell at $94,000” and “diamond hands to $114,000, baby.” 50.2% gloomy, 49.8% euphoric—a split more dramatic than a reality TV finale. Somewhere in the distance, a blockchain sighs.

Sideways Market: The Financial Equivalent of Watching Paint Dry

Right now, Bitcoin’s clinging to $104,522 like your ex to a bad idea. A slide to $94,000? Down 10%—the kind of drop that makes grown men weep into their portfolios. Or maybe we’re headed for $114,000, a neat 9% jump that shatters the last all-time high of $111,940, and triggers a thousand “I told you so” tweets, according to CoinMarketCap.

Feeling nostalgic? Bitcoin hasn’t graced $94,000 since May 6, a simpler time—when “will it or won’t it?” referred to the price, not your weekend plans.

Then came the whiplash: Bitcoin briefly flirted with $110,000 on June 11, only for geopolitics to cue the Titanic music. Israel airstrikes Iran, the U.S. is doing its rocky-macho routine, and now Bitcoin is sulking around $103,000, clutching its pearls.

Not helping: the president doing what presidents do best—threatening supreme leaders and flipping the global risk switch. 🤦‍♀️

So, the whole crypto market’s mood? As flat as your last party’s prosecco. The Crypto Fear & Greed Index slid from raving “Greed” to apathetic “Neutral” (score: 54/100) as of June 20. Even the index can’t pretend to care.

Meanwhile, TradFi Is Taking a Nap

S&P 500? Enthusiasm level: potato. Down 0.48% over five days, says Google. Michael Saylor’s darling, MSTR, also tripped—minus 2.43% this week and -10.74% for the month. Is it contagious? Should someone call a doctor?

But wait, silver lining time: U.S. spot Bitcoin ETFs keep raking in the cash. $388.3 million in new inflows Wednesday. Eight days straight. Clearly, someone didn’t get the memo about caution.

Bear Market PTSD? Or Just Wishful Thinking?

Saylor says Bitcoin will “never” see a bear market again. Apparently, he’s upgraded from laser eyes to steel nerves. Meanwhile, Rekt Capital (name checks out) cautiously reminds us, “Yeah, maybe don’t throw out your panic button yet. Bears could return after this bull mania.”

Other soothsayers have their bets on $130,000 to $135,000 in Q3. And Arthur Hayes? He’s gone full “hold my drink” and predicts $250,000 by year’s end, because why not? 🚀

So, is Bitcoin going to the moon, the abyss, or just hanging out in economic purgatory? Grab your popcorn (and maybe a stiff drink). There’s a poll for that.

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2025-06-20 06:24