In the dim and sordid alleyways of global finance, Bitcoin once loomed with the glint of possible redemption for the destitute — but now, much like an overripe apple, it plummets from its lofty perch! The world trembles, not with the thundering steps of revolution, but with middle-aged men in suits arguing over distant skies with more drama than a Dostoevsky novel.
Our fearless POTUS (the modern tsar of a land across the ocean) proclaimed from his gilded echo chamber: America, masters of the sky! The Iranians, apparently, are to kneel or else… but not right this minute, because apparently mercy is trending. “Unconditional surrender,” he said, as if it were a new flavor at a capitalist ice cream shop.
From beneath the neon glow of digital screens, came another update: the so-called ‘Supreme Leader’ – a man with more hiding spots than a miser’s coin purse – is currently being kept alive by sheer presidential whimsy. “We’re not going to take him out (kill), at least not for now,” said the great leader, presumably while checking his reflection in a gold-plated mirror. How generous! How truly American!
The markets, always quick to panic, responded for the hundredth time this week. Bitcoin, that shimmering illusion of hope for those who dream of lambos and liberation, slipped and stumbled once again – losing $5,000 in mere hours, sinking beneath $104,000. Such is fate. Somewhere, a day trader weeps into an empty energy drink can.
Meanwhile, the ever-watchful analysts of Santiment, those chroniclers of this endless digital soap opera, pointed out through their dusty ledgers and glistening screens: Bitcoin may be falling, but behold! The ETFs remain unfazed, welcoming over a billion dollars like greedy babushkas stuffing kopeks under sagging mattresses since June 9th. Truly, capitalism never sleeps, not even through its own nightmares.
Even with Bitcoin slipping below $104K Tuesday, Bitcoin ETF’s remain strong. Working on a 5-day net inflow streak, there has been a total of just over $1.464B in money moving into $BTC‘s ETF’s, dating back to June 9th.
— Santiment (@santimentfeed) June 17, 2025
Take heed, comrades: if revolution ever comes, it will be live-streamed, monetized, and immediately re-invested in volatile assets.
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2025-06-17 21:16