Bitcoin Whales Feast! ETH Buyers Rebel – Shocking Crypto Chaos!

Oh, what a farce! Enter Glassnode, that ever-dramatic oracle of the markets, declaring that Bitcoin‘s plump whales and their lesser kin are scarfing down coins like misers at a banquet, hoisting their precious BTC to dizzying heights above 100,000 doubloons. 😂💸 Truly, a comedy of avarice unfolds, with every wallet size joining the frenzy—those timid souls with less than a single BTC to the titanic hoarders of over 10,000. All in “near-perfect” accumulation mode, as if scripted by some divine jester. 🚀

Behold their Trend Accumulation Score chart, a masterpiece of mockery, where scores hit 1 or thereabouts across the board. Even the colossal whales, those bloated behemoths, are accumulating as they did in the madcap days of December 2024. “The alignment across wallet sizes suggests broad-based conviction,” quoth Glassnode with a wink, as if conviction weren’t just another word for collective delusion in this circus. 😏

At this very moment, Bitcoin trades at a princely 117,412—ah, the vanity of it all! One might think the world has gone mad, but then, who am I to judge such enthusiastic folly? 🤡

Now, shift the scene to Ethereum, where Glassnode spies a twist worthy of a Molière plot. After eons of waning interest, first-time ETH buyers are storming back, their supply swelling by some 16% since early July. “We’re seeing the first signs of a trend reversal,” they crow, as if fresh fools aren’t the lifeblood of every bubble. This influx of novices suggests renewed zest, or perhaps just poor timing masked as insight. 😅

Ethereum currently lounges at 3,765—steady, but oh, the sarcasm in its supposed revival! One can’t help but chuckle at the eternal cycle of hype and despair. 🎭

And let’s not forget Solana, that sprightly upstart, teetering on the edge of glory. Glassnode hints that SOL might burst upward after breaching a key resistance, like a courtier leaping over a fence to curry favor. “The next major resistance may sit around $190,” they say, where a hoard of 8 million SOL lies in wait. Beyond that? Sparse supply, meaning if demand holds (and what a gamble that is), the ascent could turn into a riotous stampede. Ha, as if resistance ever meant anything in this game of thrones! 😎

At present, SOL frolics at 197, cheekily above that so-called barrier. What a riot—crypto’s never-ending pantomime of greed and surprise! 🚀😂

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2025-07-22 23:01