Bitcoin’s Meltdown: When Crypto Meets Chaos 🎢

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Just when you thought Bitcoin was the golden child of finance, it decided to take a nosedive into the abyss of despair. 🚀➡️🕳️ Defying the so-called “experts” who probably still use flip phones, Bitcoin plummeted to a four-month low of $74k. Monday was so ugly, even a Picasso painting would’ve looked better.

In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Bitcoin joined the global financial market’s pity party. The culprit? None other than Donald Trump, who apparently decided tariffs were the spice of life. 🌶️

Let’s dive into this mess and see if Bitcoin can pull itself out of the gutter—or if it’s just going to keep digging.

Bitcoin’s Bad Day: A Tale of Woe

In a shocking twist that no one saw coming (except maybe everyone), Bitcoin kicked off the week with a faceplant. Analyst Michael van de Poppe dubbed it “Black Monday,” which sounds like a goth band’s debut album. 🖤

Van de Poppe, who probably has a crystal ball somewhere in his office, said it’s hard to predict how deep the market will go when everyone’s panicking. He also hinted at some “key developments” on the horizon, which is analyst-speak for “I have no idea what’s going to happen.”

But fear not! He believes Bitcoin’s rollercoaster ride will continue for the next two weeks. “I think we’ll see a rollercoaster 1-2 weeks in which we’re having a test of the lows for Bitcoin,” he said, because nothing says stability like a rollercoaster. 🎢

Global Markets: Everyone’s Invited to the Meltdown

Thanks to Trump’s tariff announcement, the stock market took a swan dive, marking its biggest fall since 2020. Experts thought Bitcoin would be the resilient one, but it decided to join the party instead. 🎉

Meanwhile, the Chinese stock market was having its own existential crisis, with Hong Kong’s Hang Seng index dropping more than 10% in morning trade. It was the largest daily fall since the 2008 financial crisis, which is like winning a gold medal in the Olympics of failure. 🥇

What’s Next for Bitcoin? More Pain, Probably

According to van de Poppe, Bitcoin could dip to $70k if this downtrend continues. As of now, it’s trading at $75,204, down 9.6% in a day. Over the past week, it’s down 7%, and over the past month, it’s down 13%. At this rate, Bitcoin might as well start selling itself by the pound. 💸

Analyst MMCrypto predicted more steep declines, because why stop at one disaster when you can have a whole series? Given the crypto market’s unpredictability, it’s anyone’s guess whether Bitcoin will bounce back or just keep sinking like a stone. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-04-07 11:12