Brokeback Mountain: Why I’m Glad Iwaited 20 Years

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Even though it may seem surprising, I experienced Brokeback Mountain for the very first time recently. This isn’t my first encounter with a movie from the 2000s that is often hailed as one of the best, given its release in 2005. However, due to being just 17 years old when Ang Lee’s emotional masterpiece about unfulfilled love debuted, I missed it initially, and over the years, I kept postponing watching it more times than I can recall.

As the 20th anniversary re-release of “Brokeback Mountain” is nearly here (it’s opening for a limited run on June 20th), I decided it was time to revisit the captivating film starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Initially, I felt a bit annoyed with myself for waiting so long, but upon contemplation, I’m truly grateful that I waited until I was a 37-year-old father of three instead of being an impulsive high school student. Here’s why…

I Don’t Think The Inner Turmoil Of Ennis And Jack’s Relationship Would Have Hit As Hard

In essence, “Brokeback Mountain” is a film that deeply explores love, sorrow, heartache, and the indomitable human spirit amidst a world that fails to embrace difference. As a young adult who was inexperienced with life’s complexities and had yet to encounter genuine heartbreak, I believe the emotional turmoil of their secret relationship may not have resonated as profoundly. To be frank, I question whether I would have fully grasped the struggles of these rugged cowboys, whose exterior toughness concealed hearts of tenderness, throughout the movie’s journey.

Watching Heath Ledger’s character Ennis and Jake Gyllenhaal’s character Jack struggle to conceal their real identities from their families, employers, and society as a whole while maintaining a false image of typical heterosexual cowboys was truly moving. It was on Brokeback Mountain that they finally felt free to be themselves and find happiness.

The Passage Of Time And Its Effect On Relationships Resonated So Much For A Man Approaching His 40s

Fundamentally, art invites you to ponder over your past, your current state, and the factors that have led you here, and that’s exactly what “Brokeback Mountain” accomplished. Witnessing Ang Lee’s poignant adaptation of Annie Proulx’s powerful 1997 short story from The New Yorker, with its portrayal of time’s flow and its impact on relationships, was truly impressive. The film delved deeply into the pains and pleasures of life and love as Ennis and Jack evolved from strangers sharing a sheep drive to ill-fated lovers who struggle to be together yet cannot let go of each other either.

As I find myself nearing my 40s (time seems to be moving faster these days), a particular aspect of that movie struck a chord with me deeply, and it’s been on my mind ever since the ending. Reflecting on it now, I believe this would have gone over my head when the film first came out. This is due to the fact that I hadn’t experienced love, heartache, and renewal at the time the movie was released. Consequently, I don’t think the profound messages and themes of this emotionally moving picture would have resonated with me back then.

I Also Found Myself Wrapped Up In The Drama Of Ennis And Jack’s Families

While the central theme of “Brokeback Mountain” revolves around the long-term relationship between Ennis and Jack, it’s important to note that other aspects of the film were equally engaging. The portrayal of the two lead characters’ lives off the mountain added depth and complexity to the story, particularly as their distinct worlds collided and became more intricate. This was especially true as Ennis and Jack got married, had children, and tried to establish lives for themselves beyond Brokeback, dealing with the challenges that arose from these changes.

Despite not sharing the exact circumstances as Ennis and Jack, their marital struggles and parental journeys resonated deeply with me. As a married person with children, I frequently grapple with the tension between my past self and my present identity, and I can empathize with how challenging it must have been for two individuals who couldn’t openly acknowledge their feelings of unrequited love to their families or society at large. It’s undeniably heart-wrenching.

Brokeback Mountain Requires Patience, Empathy, And Restraint, All Of Which I Didn’t Have Back Then

As a movie enthusiast, I’ve got to say that “Brokeback Mountain” is a film that demands patience. It may not be the longest movie out there, but its unhurried pace makes for a deep immersion. The story unfolds at a leisurely pace, allowing Ennis and Jack’s relationship to grow subtly yet powerfully, much like a seed taking root and blossoming over time.

As a 37-year-old viewer now, I found the deliberate slowness of the film absolutely captivating. It created a slow, contemplative experience that was nothing short of stunning. If I had seen it back when I was younger, I’m not sure I would have been able to appreciate its quiet intensity as much as I did then.

In 2005, when I first watched this movie, it demanded a depth of empathy that I wasn’t fully equipped with at the time. If you can’t step into the shoes of the main characters or even feel for their loved ones during certain scenes, watching this film can be quite challenging. What surprised me was how restrained the filmmakers were in certain moments, particularly when Jack’s heart-wrenching death was left unclear after recalling a story Ennis had shared earlier in the movie. My patience and empathy have grown since then, but I must admit that I still need to hone all three qualities to fully appreciate this powerful film.

Also, I Don’t Think I Could Have Handled Brokeback Mountain’s Complexities As An Immature 17-Year-Old Boy In The South

Currently, I wouldn’t consider myself flawless, but I can confidently say that I’ve grown and improved significantly since I was 17 years old, and I believe many others can relate to this journey as well. Reflecting upon it now, I honestly don’t think I could have fully grasped the intricacies, subtleties, or deep emotions portrayed in Brokeback Mountain at that age.

What I’m saying is, I likely would have found the movie enjoyable too, but given that I’m an older person looking back, I don’t think a young boy from the South at that time would have been as receptive to all that transpired. Times have moved on, and so have people, and I believe delaying watching this masterpiece was the wise decision. Yet, I can’t help but feel regretful for missing out on such a charming tale.

In summary, viewing “Brokeback Mountain” proved to be an intensely moving, enjoyable, and thought-provoking adventure, and yes, discussing its underappreciation at the Oscars is now within my realm of discussion.

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2025-06-18 20:11