- Picture this: mysterious long-term Bitcoin hoarders stuffing their mattresses with more BTC than ever—and they’re not about to stop (unless they run out of mattresses).
- Word around the Wonka factory is we’re in for a bonkers, jaw-dropping BTC price boom this year—richer than Augustus Gloop after a chocolate binge.
Gold has been parading about like it owns the place ever since the start of 2024, but now it’s beginning to look over its shoulder in fear—Bitcoin is sneaking up behind with a megaphone and a bucket of fake spiders. In the last three months, Bitcoin’s most loyal fans have gobbled up over 254,000 coins, stashing them away for a rainy day or, you know, an alien invasion.
Brown University Holds Bitcoin
Once upon a time (okay, last week), Brown University—ancient, distinguished and possibly run by Oompa-Loompas—casually revealed a $4,915,050 chunk of BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust ETF to the SEC. The BlackRock IBIT fund is so jam-packed with coins (over 600,000 of them worth more than $58 billion) it probably needs its own forklift operator.
With this move, Brown is the third US university to show off its Bitcoin trophy, right after Emory and the slightly rebellious University of Austin. Let’s just hope this isn’t the start of a new Ivy League crypto dodgeball league.
Brown University Joins Emory & University of Austin (UATX) as Third US University to Announce Bitcoin Purchase.
— matthew sigel, recovering CFA (@matthew_sigel) May 2, 2025
Brown’s endowment chest overflows with $7 billion—picture a Scrooge McDuck vault, but with less waterfowl and more accountants. If those beans are converted to Bitcoin, expect the Statue of Liberty to start hoarding cold storage wallets herself. And with the US teasing its Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, maybe George Washington himself will be mining by Christmas.
Impact on BTC Price Action
The grown-ups in the room—institutional investors, hedge funds, and perhaps your local pet shop—are pouring into Bitcoin like it’s fizzy lifting drink. That’s sent bullish vibes bounding down Wall Street: BTC is putting together a streak of four gleaming green candles, enough to impress even the most cynical finance professor.
Now, for all you chart magicians: BTC’s eyeing its all-time high and sharpening its shoes for a 2025 moonwalk. But beware the $92,000 trapdoor—fall through that and you might land in a vat of liquid chocolate (or, less deliciously, in a long squeeze).
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2025-05-03 00:10