California’s Bitcoin Bill: A Tale of Greed, Power, and Crypto Dreams 🤯💸

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In the labyrinthine corridors of California’s legislative chambers, where ambition and absurdity often intertwine, a new chapter in the saga of human folly has been written. Assembly Bill 1052, once a humble Money Transmission Act, has been reborn as the “Digital Assets” bill, its soul now infused with the ethereal promise of Bitcoin rights. Democrat Avelino Valencia, a man whose title as Chair of the Banking and Finance Committee suggests authority but whose actions suggest a gambler’s desperation, amended the bill on March 28, 2025. His goal? To grant nearly 40 million Americans the divine right to self-custody their digital treasures.

“We are proud to officially announce that ‘Bitcoin Rights’ has been introduced in the California Assembly by the Chair of Banking and Finance – Assemblyman Valencia. Once passed, nearly 40 million Americans will have their right to self-custody protected! The bill also creates…”

— Satoshi Action Fund (@SatoshiActFund) March 29, 2025

But what does this bill truly seek? To legitimize digital assets as a form of payment, yes, but also to shield them from the grasping hands of public entities eager to tax and restrict. It expands the Political Reform Act of 1974, ensuring that public officials cannot promote or invest in digital assets if it creates conflicts of interest. A noble gesture, or perhaps a cynical ploy to appear virtuous in a world where virtue is often a mask for self-interest.

Dennis Porter, CEO of the Satoshi Action Fund, waxed poetic about California’s influence, declaring, “California often sets the national blueprint for policy, and if Bitcoin Rights passes here, it can pass anywhere.” The bill now languishes in the “desk process,” awaiting its first reading, a bureaucratic purgatory where dreams go to die—or, occasionally, to be resurrected.

Yet, for all its grand ambitions, the reality is stark. As of now, only 99 merchants in California accept Bitcoin, a number that seems almost comically small in a state teeming with crypto giants like Ripple Labs, Solana Labs, and Kraken. Meanwhile, another bill regarding stablecoins was proposed on February 2, seeking to define collateral, liquidation, and security audits. Across the nation, 95 bills on Bitcoin are pending in 35 states, 36 of which are Bitcoin reserve bills. Texas has already passed one, and Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear has signed a Bitcoin Rights bill. Even the President of the United States has joined the fray, signing an order to create a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve.

And so, the wheels of progress—or perhaps the wheels of madness—continue to turn. In this age of digital gold rushes and legislative alchemy, one cannot help but wonder: are we witnessing the dawn of a new era, or merely the latest act in humanity’s eternal comedy of errors? 🤔💻

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2025-03-31 09:58