Coinbase Hacker Launders Millions, Mocks Investigators with Meme

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Crypto Criminals: The Meme Lords of Money Laundering! 😂💸

So, guess what? The genius behind the Coinbase hack is not just sitting on a pile of stolen crypto like a dragon on a hoard of gold. Nope! They’re out here laundering millions and throwing shade at the poor blockchain detectives trying to catch them. Talk about a plot twist! 🎭

Our favorite hacker recently decided to play a little game of “Let’s Convert Some Crypto.” They swapped 8,697 ETH for a cool 22 million DAI. And just when you thought they were done, another address—probably their partner in crime—got in on the action, converting 9,081 ETH into another $23 million in DAI. I mean, who needs a legitimate job when you can just be a digital Robin Hood? 🏴‍☠️

Thanks to the ever-watchful PeckShield, we know this is all part of a grand money laundering scheme. Because why not? If you’re going to commit a crime, might as well do it with style! 💁‍♀️

On-Chain Troll

But wait, it gets better! This hacker decided to take a break from their busy laundering schedule to send a little love note to ZachXBT, the crypto detective. They used Ethereum’s transaction message field to drop a classic “L bozo” along with a meme video of NBA legend James Worthy puffing on a cigar. Because nothing says “I’m winning” like a meme, right? 😂

ZachXBT, bless his heart, shared this delightful tidbit on Telegram, confirming that the sender is indeed linked to the breach that left 69,400 Coinbase users feeling a bit… exposed. Oops! 😬

And just to add some extra spice, Coinbase admitted that this whole mess started back in December 2024 but was only discovered in May 2025. Apparently, the hacker even bribed customer support to get their hands on user data. Because who needs ethics when you have a plan? 🙄

Now, let’s talk about the juicy details of the breach. We’re talking full identities, contact info, account balances, and transaction histories. Coinbase even turned down a $20 million ransom demand. I mean, who needs money when you can have a PR nightmare? 💔

Unauthorized Biometric Data Collection

But wait, there’s more! Coinbase is also facing a class-action lawsuit from Illinois residents who claim the exchange was a bit too nosy with their biometric data during identity verification. Filed on May 13, the suit accuses Coinbase of violating the Biometric Information Privacy Act (BIPA) by capturing facial geometry from selfies without asking nicely. Rude! 😳

Apparently, they had some third-party vendors like Jumio and Onfido doing the dirty work. And when it came time to pay arbitration fees for over 10,000 cases? Coinbase ghosted them. Classic! 👻

The lawsuit is packing some serious heat with three counts of BIPA violations and one count of consumer fraud. Plaintiffs are looking for $5,000 per intentional violation and $1,000 for the negligent ones. Plus, they want a court order to stop the madness and cover their legal fees. Because who doesn’t love a good courtroom drama? 🎬

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2025-05-22 20:51