Dr Altcoin (yes, that’s really his name, don’t look at me), just dropped a prophecy on X about Pi Network’s grand ambitions. Spoiler: if you planned to buy a house with your PI, you might want to move that calendar reminder to 2030. Minimum.
He admits Pi shimmers with “potential” (who doesn’t love a flirty maybe 🥴), but let’s be honest — Pi Network is still missing everything that makes a cryptocurrency actually work. You know, the “infrastructure,” otherwise known as stuff you can actually use.
Pi Network’s Feature List: Mostly, Imagination
According to our crypto Nostradamus, Pi needs more than good vibes — it has to find real-life businesses willing to touch its tokens without sanitizing their hands afterward.
No real utility? No value. No Binance listing? Sad trombone. Want to spend PI? Hope you’re into buying virtual stickers in the Pi Community Marketplace, because that’s about the extent of the action.
If you were hoping for groundbreaking blockchain magic, brace yourself: there’s still no full smart contract support. And let’s not even get started on the “centralization” thing. (Oops, too late.)
PI: The Rollercoaster Currency Nobody Asked For
Next up: price drama. Dr Altcoin points out that PI’s stability is about as reliable as my desire to go jogging. The ride so far:
- Feb 20, 2025 — Open Mainnet launches, PI is at $0.8662. Fancy!
- Six days later: Boom, up 2,902%. Crypto Twitter loses it. 🚀
- By April 4: Whoops, crash — down another 81.47%. Did you blink?
- March 13 and onward: Mostly clinging between $1.7930 and $0.4027, classic “what are we doing?” energy.
- May 12: The coin says “Let’s rally!” The market: “Absolutely not.”
Yesterday? PI did its best impression of a bouncy ball, dipping to $0.4019, then rebounding up 5.4% to $0.5822. Financial drama queens everywhere, rejoice.
Small Fish, Big Pond, No Lifeguard
Here’s a fun one: 95% of Pi users hold less than 1,001 PI. That’s right — most people are sitting on tiny piles that, for now, might just buy you an imaginary coffee (extra imaginary cream).
For “utility,” prices have to stop acting like toddlers after snack time. Good luck with that, since:
- PI has plummeted 33.2% in the last month.
- It’s down another 7.3% just this week. Yikes.
- Current PI price? Nearly 80% below its “I swear, it’ll moon” all-time high.
So, Who’s Still Into Pi?
Wrapping up this epic thread, Dr Altcoin says “Patience, young Pioneers.” Getting to mass adoption needs:
- Price stability (shock, gasp)
- Trust-building (easier said than done)
- Real-world utility (if you build it, they might come… maybe?)
To be fair, Pi isn’t just another whitepaper fever dream. Sixty million users have already signed up (that’s a lot of notifications), free mobile mining is weirdly seductive, and the team comes with Stanford PhDs — which means surely someone has a spreadsheet labelled “To-Do: Fix Everything.”
If Pi can somehow transform itself from promise to, you know, an actual thing people use, maybe everyone’s patience will buy something besides bragging rights. For now, though, beware of anyone trying to sell you their PI at a “special launch price.” 😉
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2025-06-14 11:54