Oh, great. Another crypto meltdown. Just when you thought you could finally afford that second yacht, Bitcoin decides to take a nosedive. A wave of fear? More like a tsunami of panic-selling. Investors are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I mean, come on, people! Get a grip! 🙄
“An Economic Nuclear War” ☢️ (Seriously?)
So, apparently, some guy named Bill Ackman thinks a global tariff war is like an “economic nuclear war.” Really? Nuclear? Over tariffs? Sounds a bit dramatic, even for me. Anyway, this alleged “nuclear war” is making everyone sell their crypto. Bitcoin’s below $79,000? Big deal. It’ll probably go back up. Or maybe it won’t. Who knows? 🤷♂️
The “Fear and Greed Index” (whatever that is) dropped to “extreme fear.” Sounds like a Monday to me. Bitcoin’s at $77,000, and the market cap is down 10%. Oh, the humanity! And some coin called Berachain crashed 21%. Never heard of it. Probably for good reason.
Over a billion dollars liquidated? Someone’s having a bad day. Or 324,000 someones. One guy lost $23 million! In crypto! On Bitfinex! I mean, what did he expect? It’s crypto! It’s basically gambling with extra steps. 🎲
Some “expert” from BTC Markets says it’s because Sundays are “illiquid.” Yeah, sure. Blame it on Sunday. Maybe it’s just because crypto is inherently unstable and prone to random crashes. Just a thought. 🤔
US Crypto Wallet Reveal To Spark Relief Rally? 😂 Good One!
Edul Patel, some CEO from Mudrex (another one I’ve never heard of), says there might be a “silver lining.” A relief rally? Based on what? The government revealing their crypto holdings? Oh, that’ll fix everything. It’s like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound. 🩹
Federal agencies have to tell the Treasury Secretary what crypto they own. Riveting stuff. I’m sure that’ll change the world. Or at least give us something to complain about. 🗣️
And of course, Arthur Hayes thinks global tariffs might “spark a Bitcoin rally.” Because that makes perfect sense. Chaos equals profit! I swear, these crypto gurus are just making stuff up as they go along. Just like me! 🤪
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2025-04-07 10:37