Crypto Chaos: FTX Dumps $5B Stablecoins! Will Prices Spike or Crash? 😱

Ah, behold, the grand spectacle of the financial circus! FTX, the once-revered titan of crypto, now playing Robin Hood—*but* with stablecoins, no less! They’ve decided to sprinkle over $5 billion—yes, billion with a ‘B’—like confetti, to their tired creditors. About 2% of the entire stablecoin buffet, gone in a flicker, leaving the market to wonder, “Is this a bailout or a buffet?” 🍽️

Mark your calendars, comrades, because this spectacle begins today, May 30. This is the second act of their grand repayment opera, following the chaos of November 2022 when everyone’s funds disappeared faster than a magician’s rabbit. Now, creditors are to be paid back, but don’t get too comfortable—it’s a gamble so wild even the gamblers are dizzy. The process is managed by BitGo and Kraken, those noble giants of the crypto realm—probably just trying to keep up with the madness.

“Eligible creditors, brace yourselves! Expect to get your loot within 1-3 days of May 30, 2025. Yes, your wait is almost over, like waiting for snow to melt in April.” — FTX (@FTX_Official) May 15, 2025

And what’s the grand plan, you ask? Oh, just a little thing called a court-approved reorganization—because nothing says ‘trust’ like dividing your creditors into five fancy classes. Those lucky few in the second round could see anywhere from 54% to a whopping 120% of their claims—because who doesn’t love to gamble on crypto, right? Sunil Kavuri, the luminary championing creditor rights, reminds us that these numbers are as unpredictable as a cat on a hot tin roof.

But wait, there’s more! The first wave already handed out about $1.2 billion back in February—enough to fill a small lake. Now, with *this* second wave, the market gets a substantial shot of adrenaline, around 2% of the stablecoin universe! Analyst Miles Deutscher warns that this liquidity isn’t just for show; it might whirl back into the market like a boomerang, causing price swings big enough to make a rollercoaster look like a kiddie ride. And with Bitcoin strutting near its old highs, it’s a perfect storm—so grab your popcorn and hold on tight! 🎢

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2025-05-30 13:56