Ah, dear reader! A most curious report hath emerged from the esteemed halls of 10x Research, proclaiming that it is far too early to indulge in the delightful pastime of buying the dip! Forsooth, Bitcoin, that capricious creature, is said to be galloping towards the lofty heights of $73,000! But lo! The next bull run shall require a new tale to spin, as our wise sage, Markus Thielen, CEO and chief oracle of 10x Research, doth declare.
In a most audacious manner, 10x doth lay a hefty portion of the blame for the crypto market’s woeful decline at the feet of none other than the policies of our dear Trump and the tragic demise of memecoins:
“Many a retail investor now finds themselves clutching portfolios brimming with meme coins, most of which are on a leisurely stroll towards zero, with TRUMP leading the parade, collapsing under the weight of speculation, much like the broader market under the so-called crypto president.”
The Memecoin Bubble: A Comedy of Errors
Released on the 11th day of March in the year 2025, this report doth reveal yet another speculative bubble hath burst! In the grand tradition of 2021’s NFT/DeFi bubble, we now witness the tragic deflation of the memecoin bubble. Ethereum, once the darling of the memecoin realm, hath been cast aside, whilst Solana and Pump.Fun-based coins find themselves in a most dire decline.
Alas! The memecoin bubble’s demise hath cast a pall over other crypto denizens. The venerable Dogecoin, once a beacon of hope, hath lost a staggering 33% of its value in February! The bloodletting in the memecoin market hath also undermined Bitcoin’s noble standing. As the report wisely notes, “This structural decline indicates a weakening foundation, making now a time for caution — not complacency. Bitcoin (BTC) is steadily heading toward $73,000. If history be any guide, the next major (up) move will require a new narrative.”
Curiously, this decline in BTC doth occur amidst the long-awaited embrace of crypto by the White House, whilst gold doth soar to new heights, all amidst a cacophony of crypto-bullish headlines. What a tangled web we weave!
The Market’s Descent: A Tragic Farce
On the 12th of March, in the year 2025, our sage Thielen graced the Wolf of All Streets YouTube stream, engaging in a lively discourse with host Scott Melker. Despite the crypto market’s already grievous decline, particularly in the realm of memecoins, Thielen doth predict that prices shall continue their downward spiral.
Crypto ETFs are being sold with the fervor of a market day, whilst our dear Donald Trump doth threaten Canada with increased tariffs on auto imports come April 2, creating a delightful sense of chaos and disorientation among traders. Expectations for April loom large, yet traders remain in a fog of uncertainty. Furthermore, Thielen hath proclaimed that new rate cuts from the Fed are not anticipated until summer, stretching the uncertainty like a fine cheese!
Thus, the price of Bitcoin shall continue its descent. When asked about a true dip, Thielen doth declare he would purchase BTC as it plummets to $73,000. A noble quest indeed!
The News: A Dull Blade in a Bearish Phase
In addition to the Lummis bill, Melker doth mention the SEC’s dismissal of one case after another against crypto companies, and the overall loosening of crypto regulations as good news that, for reasons unknown, doth not stir the market from its slumber. Melker doth call this news-deafness a hallmark of a bearish phase.
Alas! The post-inauguration trajectory of Bitcoin hath been far from bullish, contrary to the rosy tales spun by the news. Melker doth present a graph showing that after Trump’s grand inauguration, Bitcoin fell by 25%, whilst Ether lost a staggering 46% of its value. Many other assets too found themselves in decline. The only victors in this tragic comedy are gold (with a modest 7%) and European stocks at 10%. A most curious turn of events, indeed!
If someone had shown you this chart of the best (and worst) performing asset classes since Trump’s inauguration, would you have believed them?
— Nic (@nicrypto) March 12, 2025
Thielen doth argue that the news regarding Bitcoin reserves may prove disappointing for crypto traders, as Lummis first spoke of the strategic Bitcoin reserve last year, and since then, the U.S. hath yet to procure any bitcoins. Thielen doth refer to a Bitcoin reserve executive order signed by Trump earlier this month as “renaming the confiscated bitcoins.” The public, he insists, requires “evidence” that something hath been done months after Lummis first spoke of the bill. Thus, the news cannot ignite the market’s fervor.
Thielen doth assert that the positive reaction to the news of the February CPI reaching 2.8% against the expected 2.9% is overly optimistic, as a CPI above 2.0% remains rather high.
In conclusion, Thielen hath no doubt that Bitcoin shall recover in due time, but as the report doth state, it shall not occur until a new, compelling narrative doth emerge. Until then, we shall watch this grand spectacle unfold with bated breath and a hearty chuckle! 🎭
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2025-03-14 17:53