In a shocking turn of events, the crypto-loving Rasputin of the SEC, Mark Uyeda, has seized power in a coup d’état that would make even the most seasoned Bolshevik blush. 🤯 With the backing of the “crypto President” himself, Uyeda has ascended to the throne of the SEC, promising to usher in a new era of innovation and deregulation that will have the blockchain barons dancing with glee. 💃🕺
Meanwhile, the hapless former SEC chair, Gary Gensler, is said to be holed up in his office, muttering about the “immutable ledger” and the “decentralized autonomous organization” as he contemplates his downfall. 🤔 And the CFTC, not to be outdone, has also fallen under the sway of the crypto cabal, with the femme fatale Caroline Pham taking the reins as acting chair. 💅
The coup has sent shockwaves through the financial world, with Wall Street titans and crypto bros alike scrambling to align themselves with the new power brokers. 🤑 But as the dust settles, one thing is clear: the crypto revolution is in full swing, and the regulators are powerless to stop it. 🚀
So, grab your hodl bags and get ready for a wild ride, because the crypto Czar is in town, and he’s not taking any prisoners. 😎
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2025-01-21 02:03