Crypto Madman’s Inner Struggle: A Tale of Bitcoin Abstinence Shocks Wall Street! 😱

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Ah, dear reader, what a peculiar and tormented spectacle we witness! Our beloved Michael Saylor, that restless soul possessed by the Bitcoin demon, has, would you believe it, stayed his trembling hand from the purchase button! 🎭 Such extraordinary restraint, such unprecedented self-denial! For an entire week, while Bitcoin performed its mocking dance between 87,000 and 80,000 dollars, he merely… watched. Oh, the agony! 😫

Picture, if you will, this modern-day Raskolnikov, pacing his office, muttering about volatility being useful (Ha! What delicious irony! 😏), while his company, Strategy—that grand instrument of his Bitcoin obsession—sits idle like a reformed gambler at a casino. The SEC filing, that cold, bureaucratic confession, tells us of this temporary abstinence between March 31 and April 6. How the mighty have fallen! Or perhaps… risen? 🤔

But wait! Let us examine the depths of this psychological drama! Strategy clutches 528,185 BTC to its breast, acquired for the astronomical sum of $35.6 billion—a fortune that would make even the most hardened Petersburg merchant weep! And yet, oh cruel fate, they face an unrealized loss of $5.91 billion! But fear not, for like a skilled chess player, they anticipate a tax benefit of $1.69 billion. Such beautiful suffering! 😭

On the social media stage called X, our protagonist continues his philosophical ramblings, like a man possessed by fever dreams of digital gold. “Bitcoin is most volatile because it is most useful,” he declares. Ah, what magnificent nonsense! What sublime contradiction! 🎪

And then, dear friends, comes the prophetic warning about inflation—as if channeling the spirit of a doomsday prophet on the streets of nineteenth-century Moscow! “Capital faces dilution,” he cries into the digital void, while hidden risks lurk in every shadow. How wonderfully paranoid! How deliciously dramatic! 🎭

And so we leave our hero, temporarily silent in the market but screaming his Bitcoin gospel into the void. Is this not the perfect tragicomedy of our times? 🎬

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2025-04-08 09:09