I’m 45 and Playing a Grandmother. Am I Done?
Hi Remy,
The character portraying my grandson is thirty years old. That’s incredible! In reality, I could easily go out with him (and trust me, I have dated people of that age; they are full of energy!), but instead, I find myself playing his loving grandmother. I sometimes feel as if the next scene will involve me giving him a piece of candy and recounting how I met Grandpa at Woodstock (a bit of trivia: I wasn’t even born during Woodstock).
As a fan, I’m starting to wonder if my days are numbered as the neighbor doling out casseroles or the quirky relative dishing out cryptic advice while tending roses. Despite embracing this role, I can’t help but ponder what this might imply for my future. Should I begin stockpiling cardigans and shawls, perhaps even acquire a walker or two in preparation?
Yours,
Grand-dame, not Grandma
Dear Grand-dame,
Indeed, Hollywood often tends to typecast actresses into mature roles prematurely. As soon as an actress becomes a part of the ‘grandmother’ club, she might find herself receiving more opportunities for similar parts. Regrettably, this unfair trend is a reflection of reality.
Regarding your new role, instead of just playing it, you should aim to embody it fully. What unique qualities can you infuse into this character that will make her stand out and leave a lasting impression? This opportunity allows you to interpret the role in an unexpected manner, breaking free from traditional stereotypes. Consider your grandmother as a metaphor – one who defies expectations by doing hot yoga, lifting 200 pounds, and maintaining a lively presence on Instagram.
It’s also about thinking long-term. Yes, this role could be the first of many grandmother offers, but you can still control what you do next. Start strategizing for roles that break the mold. A grandmother who leads her own heist? Who is the center of a love quintangle? Who is the bodyguard to the president during an alien attack?
Stay vital but play versatile,
Yours,
Remy
Help! My Gut Instincts Have Abandoned Me!
Hi Remy,
With more than a decade of experience as a casting director, I’ve been the go-to person for finding actors who can lead a movie. Over the years, I’ve developed an intuition – one that allows me to recognize talent even when it’s not obvious. In fact, I once cast a leading actor based on their way of carrying a chair out of the waiting room. It was subtle yet profound, reminding me of a young Gregory Peck. I’m happy to report that this choice proved successful, as have all my other casting decisions.
Previously, in the past year, I committed a significant blunder. During the selection process for the male protagonist of a grand-scale musical remake, I believed I’d found our ideal candidate. He was so emotional during his audition that he even shed real tears. I was convinced we had unearthed a gem and thought to myself, “This man is Academy Award material. I will win an Oscar too. We will all take home Oscars,” echoing the sentiments of Oprah Winfrey.
However, when the cameras were actually on and filming, it felt like a switch had been turned. His performance was as rigid as a tree trunk, making me think he might grow leaves and birds could nest in him. It turned out that his impressive emotional audition was more due to an intense hay fever attack rather than genuine acting talent.
Recently, I’ve found myself utterly uncertain about my choices. It’s become a struggle even to decide between oat milk or almond in my latte, let alone make important decisions. Just yesterday, I spent 15 minutes pondering over whether my 2010 shoes were retro enough for an ironic touch or if I should get new ones. Remy, what should I do? Am I destined to fail in my career due to one man and a sudden allergy outbreak?
Yours,
Cast Adrift
Dear Cast Adrift,
Your decision-making process in casting isn’t flawless. It involves taking chances, and occasionally, these risks may not pan out as expected. Perfection in this regard is unattainable because if it were, you wouldn’t be venturing into enough new possibilities.
This situation seems significant due to its public impact, but let’s call a spade a spade – you didn’t reach this decision alone. The directors, producers, and others who supported you all witnessed the same things as you. This suggests that your gut feeling remains powerful. Unfortunately, it looks like you had bad luck this time around. We all encounter our own moments of reckoning eventually, and in your case, it seems that your toughest opponent has been pollen.
Overthinking everything due to a significant decision that’s shaken your self-assurance? The most effective approach to get over it might be discussing your predicament with professionals in your field. Remember, even the most successful individuals have made mistakes at some point. Amy Heckerling bounced back from ‘Look Who’s Talking Too,’ the Wachowskis recovered from ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ and Ang Lee came back strong after ‘Gemini Man.’ It’s not about the error; it’s about how you learn and grow from it.
Despite a recent misjudgment, you’ve established a strong career through intuition. Don’t let this setback discourage you. Instead, step forward confidently to make another exceptional casting decision.
Warmly,
Remy
I Long to Be Part of a Power Couple — So Why Am I Stuck as a Power Single?
Hi Remy!
However, it’s worth noting that the renowned authors I hold in high regard are part of influential power couples within Hollywood. These are individuals dating famous actors or married to prominent producers. To put it simply, I’m not asking for the world—I just need a guide who can assist me in maneuvering this city while maintaining a stylish and sophisticated image in designer attire. Ideally, someone whose name becomes synonymous with mine, like Brangelina, in the public eye.
It seems I’ve been frenziedly scrolling through dating apps without success, as everyone from real estate agents to software developers keep popping up, with one exception who was quite passionate about sourdough bread. However, Remy, it’s not like a loaf of artisan bread will get me into Sundance. What I need is someone who appreciates that I’m just two steps away from becoming notable and ideally has connections to the exclusive post-screening events.
Am I being shallow? Maybe. But is it too much to ask for love and a career boost?
Yours,
Power Single
Dear Power Single,
If you aspire to be part of a powerful couple at the moment, chances are you’d just end up being the companion of someone already famous. True power couples consist of two individuals who have both achieved success. At this stage, however, your journey is still underway. The most effective strategy? Prioritize your career. Work on establishing your reputation. Once you’ve reached the pinnacle of success, you won’t require another person’s fame to elevate yourself – you’ll stand side by side as equals.
A healthy balance and equality are vital in any high-profile relationship. Rushing into a partnership where one party has a substantial advantage – be it fame, achievements, or influence – can lead to tension that may jeopardize the union before it begins. True power couples thrive on mutual respect, which stems from each individual’s ability to stand independently.
Prioritize your profession first, and the appropriate relationship will naturally emerge when you’re prepared. This connection won’t be determined by someone else’s identity, but rather, by who you genuinely are.
Yours,
Remy
***
Remy Blumenfeld, an experienced television producer and founder of Vitality Guru, provides professional guidance for top-tier media professionals in their businesses and careers. If you have any questions or inquiries, please direct them to: [guru@vitality.guru](mailto:guru@vitality.guru)
Questions edited by Sarah Mills.
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2024-10-05 20:25