“Dear Remy”: Hollywood Career Coach Gives Advice to TV Yes Man and Singer Lost on Social Media

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Instagram Makes Me Feel Like a Sham

Dear Remy,

Do you think it’s possible to be famous these days without being chronically online?

As a singer-songwriter, I deeply enjoy what I do, but social media often leaves me with feelings of dishonesty. While I have an assistant managing my social media who communicates with fans using my persona, it’s not truly me; instead, it’s like a digital doppelganger. Although it appears as if I’m the one interacting, it’s actually a young adult juggling several accounts at once. This situation makes me feel inauthentic.

The irony? My next album is all about being true to yourself. How can I put that out there when I’m not even being true in my smallest interactions? Is this just how things are now, or might there be another way?

Yours,

Connected and Contrite

Dear Connected and Contrite,

Social media has significantly transformed the way we interact with our audiences. It can be challenging to balance the expectation of constant accessibility with the importance of staying genuine. However, consider this perspective: Is it essential to answer every comment in order for your work to hold significance?

It’s feasible to connect with your followers without being tethered to your phone. Prioritize authentic moments, whether they’re through thoughtful responses or spontaneous conversations. You don’t need to answer every message to come across as genuine. Also, being a pro at emojis won’t make you write better songs.

The essence lies in harmony. People appreciate you for your tunes, not the comments section. Remain authentic to your album’s theme and ensure that your digital persona mirrors this, rather than presenting a contrast.

Be as real as your lyrics—and leave the 24/7 presence to the bots,

Remy

Help! I Can’t Stop Saying ‘Yes’!

Dear Remy,

On prime-time TV, you’ll find me showcased in an improv-focused program, which I’m incredibly grateful for. Unlike my siblings who are deep into real estate, I don’t have to peddle properties with hidden decay or bathtubs designed for reading. Instead, I get to explore creativity and humor!

However, Remy, it seems to me that improv might be akin to an affliction. The more time I spend practicing it, the deeper the principle of “YES AND” becomes ingrained within my essence. This concept, you’re familiar with—the notion that an improviser should always affirm any suggestion put forth to keep a scene moving. It appears this is why improvisers are often seen as overly optimistic individuals—and perhaps the reason we aren’t frequently invited to social gatherings like dinner parties.

“YES AND” has seeped into my day-to-day life. I find myself agreeing to everything. A road trip through Appalachia in my friend’s Ford Transit, which they’ve converted into a home after watching too many TikTok van-life videos? “Yes, and I’ll bring the snacks.” A double date with a MAGA bimbo? “Yes, and the first round’s on me.” A guest appearance at my friend’s baby shower for their new Maine Coon? “Yes, and I’ll sing ‘Isn’t She Lovely’ by Stevie Wonder.”

Every now and then, I seem to stray from my usual routine, ending up in places or doing things that aren’t quite my norm. The other day, a friend requested help polishing their car, an unusual task for me, but the results were worth it – their car sparkles like never before, leaving me drained. All I desire now is a good rest.

Yours in compulsive congeniality,

Too-Good-to-’No’

Dear Too-Good-to-’No’,

It seems like “Yes And” might be occupying a larger portion of your life than ideal, especially off-stage where it’s causing exhaustion. Although it’s invaluable in improvisation on stage, perhaps exploring the idea of saying “no” could also be a form of improvisation for you. Refusing certain things could lead to fresh opportunities – ones that are equally creative but less draining.

We’re often told that saying yes to everything will open us up to adventure, but you only have so many hours in a day, no matter what every productivity podcast might tell you. Use them mindfully, not recklessly. Think of your schedule as a carefully curated Pinterest board, not an overflowing bulletin board in a frat house.

Wondering about the potential outcomes if you swap a few affirmative instances with “no, but…”? This way, you can maintain an openness for possibilities while also securing time for yourself, which is essential for any performer. Improvisation aims to boost creativity, not drain your energy. Perhaps the next scene to construct is the one where you finally manage to catch some much-needed rest.

Stay spontaneous, but leave some room to breathe,

Remy

I Cast My Friends’ Kids And Now They Hate Me

Dear Remy,

Working in reality TV for the past 25 years has left me feeling somewhat disconnected from real-world reality.

At present, I’m managing a fresh reality series that highlights families dealing with boisterous children, similar to the blend of Supernanny US and The Kardashians, but without the extensive tanning budget. We’re heavily immersed in the casting process, and in my active role as an executive, I’ve been constantly on the lookout for ideal families to feature.

As a gamer, it was downright surreal when I received an invite to my friends’ place for a dinner party. Their offspring, aged 7 and 11, seemed more like the minions of Satan than innocent children. During the pre-dinner cocktail hour, the youngest accidentally ran over one of the caterers with his Tonka truck. By the time dessert rolled around, the eldest had body-shamed not one but two guests, and they both put on a vulgar reenactment of Yellowjackets that made me cringe.

When the night concluded, I drew my companions aside and proposed the idea of them joining the program. They were taken aback. It seemed their children weren’t perceived as disorderly, let alone suitable for a television show portraying misbehaving kids. Since then, they’ve avoided me, despite my attempt to make amends with a bouquet of apology flowers.

It’s become clear to me now that I let enthusiasm take over, and in doing so, overlooked the fact that they are actual human beings (despite their extensive use of Botox, it can sometimes seem like they’re using a digital filter). What steps should I take to rectify this situation? Furthermore, how can I maintain a more balanced boundary between my professional and personal life?

Yours in regret,

Reality Check Needed

Dear Reality Check Needed,

It’s understandable how, in the heat of the moment, you might have been swept up by the excitement. Given your profession, which is often filled with drama, it’s not surprising that you saw every tumultuous gathering as a potential casting opportunity. However, your friends may have felt taken aback and potentially embarrassed by the idea of their children appearing on reality TV. They likely imagine their kids growing up to be doctors or even Presidents instead.

How might you re-establish a personal connection with them? Perhaps initiate a sincere conversation without resorting to gifts like flowers or food. Share your genuine feelings about their importance and express excitement, while also emphasizing that your friendship is more significant than any casting decision. Remind them of joyful times you’ve shared, especially those involving the children – if it’s comfortable for you to reminisce about such moments.

If the current method doesn’t work, perhaps it’s time to consider a new strategy. These children seem full of spirit and vitality – they might benefit from your guidance in fostering their creative inclinations. Compliments often pave the way. Maybe you could assist them in finding drama classes or scripts to help them focus their energy. Just be sure to guide them towards more wholesome content, like Big Bird instead of Yellowjackets.

In the future, keep in mind that not all real-world situations are designed for public broadcast. Always prioritize being a compassionate and empathetic person. Even if someone’s life appears to be fascinating or drama-filled, it doesn’t necessarily mean they desire to have it documented on screen.

Best of luck getting back on your friends’ good side,

Remy

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Remy Blumenfeld, an experienced television producer and creator of Vitality Guru, provides professional guidance for top-tier media professionals seeking advancement in their careers. If you have any inquiries, please direct them to: [guru@vitality.guru](mailto:guru@vitality.guru)

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

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2024-09-28 20:29