“Dear Remy”: Hollywood Career Coach’s Special Thanksgiving Advice for Family Harmony

by

I Won An Oscar. My Family Couldn’t Be Less Impressed

Dear Remy,

For over 25 years, I’ve been toiling away in Hollywood. A few years back, I finally received an Oscar, a dream I had chased for quite some time, as I had been nominated four times prior. However, my family, who were all together in Sheboygan, Wisconsin that year, seemed indifferent about the achievement.

During every Thanksgiving, I’m the youngest sibling who, in ’94, ended up with my head stuck in the banister. My mom playfully refers to my Oscar as “the shiny Ken doll,” my cousin jokingly questioned if it could double as a meat tenderizer, and my dad humorously suggests that I bring it to dinner so he can put a MAGA cap on it.

Despite having earned the highest honor in the entertainment industry, it still puzzles me why these nine individuals, including my 87-year-old grandmother, who has dedicated her entire home to Conway Twitty’s country music, don’t seem to appreciate my accomplishments. I often find myself wishing that my reserved Uncle Don, a taxidermist hobbyist, would take the time to watch one of my films.

Previously, I even rented a projector for everyone to view my recent film, but it got changed to a re-run of Maury midway. Occasionally, I can’t help but wish I were a nepotism baby, merely to belong to a family who might appreciate and interact with my creative endeavors.

Remy, I’m thinking of bringing my own stuffing, just for something to scream into.

Sincerely,

Oscar-Winning Black Sheep

***

Dear Black Sheep,

Achieving an Oscar win is an exceptional milestone rarely found in many careers, making it understandable to desire for your loved ones to share in your triumph. However, as you’ve come to realize, Thanksgiving isn’t about acknowledging success based on merits.

The jokes and jabs you’re enduring might stem from something deeper. Your dad’s dismissal might mask discomfort about feeling overlooked in a rapidly changing world. Let me ask you this: Do you ever acknowledge your family members’ achievements in the way you wish they would yours? What might happen if you approached these conversations as an anthropologist, observing an ancient, possibly endangered tribe?

“What tales make them shine? What do they crave to feel recognized? Recognizing their lives and achievements could be an unexpected delight you offer this year. Remember, you’ve already captivated the world. Now, it’s your opportunity to captivate Sheboygan.

Among countless individuals worldwide, it’s these nine individuals whose acknowledgment you seek the most, as they hold a special place in your heart. Demonstrate that affection towards them. And here’s a piece of advice: Avoid being labeled as a nepotism case. They come with their unique challenges.

Wishing you familial fellowship (and no more Maury reruns),

Remy

I Turned My Family Into Cartoons — Should I Tell Them?

Dear Remy,

After having successfully completed my debut independent film, I’m finding myself uneasy about returning to Poughkeepsie for Thanksgiving. Despite my mother’s persuasion, I’d much prefer to remain in Los Angeles and steer clear of any potential conflicts or confrontations.

As a gamer, you might wonder why I’m concerned about potential trouble with my mom. Here’s the thing: the film that’s been raking in awards on the independent circuit… it’s a deeply personal tale, centered around my family.

The artwork showcases both animation and various materials, yet the resemblance of its characters to my closest family members isn’t going to be disguised by this. A sturdy oak tree standing firm through all gusts – symbolizing my dad – is unmistakable. The character that drifts about aimlessly and attempts to impress with a fake British accent represents my mom. Lastly, the chattering petunias, undeniably my nieces and nephews, are reminiscent of overly talkative children. I must confess, I’m not fond of youngsters.

My mother seems to have suggested on several occasions that we might enjoy watching my recent project together, post-dessert, and I believe she’s eagerly awaiting the moment. In fact, she’s gone ahead and arranged for three distinct types of popcorn.

Remy – Should I inform my family beforehand that they’re the basis for my movie, or cross my fingers and hope they don’t notice?

Sincerely,

The “Artsy One”

***

Dear Artsy One,

It’s understandable that you might be experiencing stress. Many artists often draw inspiration from personal experiences, which may create a sense of emotional turmoil or guilt.

Instead of using Thanksgiving for your annual performance review, consider it a unique, surreal play where you embody the role of “adult child visiting home.” Approach it with this mindset. Chances are, they won’t recognize the parallels to movies. People often have difficulty recognizing themselves, and I believe this universal characteristic might work to your advantage.

Another common occurrence is that many families face similar conflicts and patterns, I’m confident that your narrative would resonate with numerous homes. The silent, stubborn father who clings to tradition is a familiar character in many households.

Let the film unfold while you savor the assortment of popcorn your mother has prepared. Thanksgiving isn’t all about intellectual examination – it’s more about navigating through embarrassing situations, avoiding heated discussions, and discreetly jotting down ideas for future stories.

And maybe on your next project, choose a muse that’s a bit further from Poughkeepsie.

Crossing my fingers for a drama-free viewing,

Remy

How Do I Convince My Family I’m Not Cruella de Thanksgiving?

Dear Remy,

As a high-ranking executive at one of Hollywood’s leading studios, I usually find myself in glamorous settings. However, this coming Thanksgiving, I’ll be embracing a more casual role as “Cruella de Thanksgiving” in Lubbock, Texas. Last year, I surprised everyone with a vegan stuffing dish, and my brother quipped, “She’s here to save the planet one tasteless recipe at a time.

This season, I’m contributing healthier pies to the Thanksgiving feast, but I might have gone a bit overboard. They’re free from gluten, dairy, and refined sugar, which may lead my family to suspect I’ve slipped some kale into the dessert! Meanwhile, my niece Emma affectionately calls me “the Hollywood lady,” and I can’t help but think she’s picked up her dad’s quip about me adding a touch of “cancel culture” with my mindful choices.

“Shall I embrace my villainous side or strive to transform into a jovial executive with compassion? It seems like I’m living the plot of a Hallmark film.

Yours in chaos,

Not Actually Cruella

***

Dear Not Actually Cruella,

Families possess an exceptional knack for transforming even the most accomplished individuals into familiar roles such as the hero, the antagonist, or the one who brings peculiar pies. In your family storyline, you embody the role of the Glamorous Feminist – a character who challenges tradition with kale and strong views.

Instead of resisting this role, why not take it on board? Let’s inquire whether the kids’ festive embellishments are crafted from repurposed paper. Propose a moment of silence around the table for the turkey and what it aspired to achieve during its turkey life before it met its end. Bring your pies and say, “Thank you for allowing me to rescue Thanksgiving and your arteries.” Wit is your hidden strength in this situation.

Simultaneously, avoid letting those labels restrict who you are. Instead, embrace a sincere sense of wonder throughout your day. Engage with your niece about what excites her or your brother about what he’s been constructing in his garage. Reconsider each moment as a chance to forge connections rather than persuade.

And if they keep poking fun, remember: villains always get the best lines — and the best pies.

Yours in good humor,

Remy

Remy Blumenfeld, an experienced television producer and the creator of Vitality Guru, provides career and business guidance for top-tier professionals in the media industry. If you have any questions or inquiries, please direct them to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Read More

2024-11-23 21:28