Dogecoin’s HUGE Surprise! 🤑

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So, Dogecoin, huh? This thing’s up 18% in three days! Eighteen percent! I’m pretty sure my blood pressure went up more than that just reading about it. It’s like, the best-performing crypto… ever? At least this week. Maybe last week too. Who knows with this stuff? 🤷‍♂️

Apparently, it’s having its best week since… well, since a week ended in 4. What a feat! Like winning a participation trophy in the Olympics of cryptocurrency.

7% of DOGE is Stuck at $0.20 (Seriously?!)

Seven percent of all Dogecoins are just sitting there at $0.20. Like a bunch of lazy, overpaid… uh… Dogecoins. According to some fancy pants on-chain data thingamajig from Glassnode. They call it URPD. Sounds like a disease. 🤒

This URPD thing tells you where the coins were last moved. It’s like a crypto-archaeologist’s treasure map, except the treasure is… more Dogecoin. 🎉

Glassnode says $0.20 is a resistance level. A resistance level! Sounds like something you’d find in a yoga class, not a cryptocurrency. But, get this, if it breaks through, boom! A 55% surge! Fifty-five percent! I need a lie-down. 😴

Then, after $0.20, there’s more resistance between $0.32 and $0.41. It’s like a crypto obstacle course! And some people might sell at break-even. Because, you know, they’re sensible. 🙄

Dogecoin Escapes the Bear Market Prison! 🐻‍❄️

House of Doge – sounds like a luxury resort, not a crypto foundation – bought 10 million DOGE. Ten million! They’re building a “payments ecosystem.” Whatever that means. Probably just a fancy way of saying “we’re trying to make some money.” They haven’t even moved the coins yet! What a joke. 😂

Oh, and some trader named Tardigrade – seriously? – says Dogecoin broke through a three-month trendline. A three-month trendline! I’m starting to think these people invented a whole new language just to confuse me.

So, yeah, maybe a short-term bullish thing. Or maybe it’s just another Tuesday. Who am I to say? I’m just a guy who watches too much TV. 📺

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2025-03-26 20:25