El Salvador’s Wild Bitcoin Ride: IMF Facepalms, Nation Buys More Anyway 💸

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If you’ve ever rolled your eyes while working out your monthly budget and then thrown caution—and your credit card—to the wind anyway, congratulations: you, too, could run El Salvador’s Bitcoin Office. Despite solemnly promising the IMF not to go crypto-crazy, the country’s top brass apparently heard “scale back” as “hit ‘buy’ just one more time.” I imagine IMF representatives sighing into their spreadsheets as the Bitcoin Office adds another line item: “Dips bought against better judgment.”

According to the Economy Minister, Maria Luisa Hayem (who, based on this week, deserves a medal for keeping a straight face in interviews), they’re still buying BTC. There’s “a commitment of President Bukele to keep accumulating assets”—which sounds like what I tell myself before trying another doomed diet. Only instead of cookies, it’s millions of dollars in digital currency. “Bitcoin keeps being an important project,” Hayem insists, a line which in history books will be right up there with “I thought the Titanic was unsinkable.”

“There’s a commitment of President Bukele to keep accumulating assets as a way to do precisely that. Bitcoin keeps being an important project. There is an asset accumulation that we’re seeing from the government perspective, from the private sector perspective.”

Maria Luisa Hayem

Where are they at now, number-wise? El Salvador holds 6,162 BTC—over $580 million, which is enough money to… well, never mind, it’s crypto, so by the time you read this it might be just enough for pupusas and a Coke. But while El Salvador has enthusiasm, Bhutan—tiny, touristy, tranquil—has more coins. With 7,486 BTC, Bhutan is the quiet Bitcoin hoarder you didn’t know about, like finding out that the Dalai Lama moonlights as Satoshi Nakomoto. Even Bhutan has started selling, presumably on the advice of a Himalayan guru who also does financial planning.

Meanwhile, scrutiny has landed like a drone over San Salvador’s Bitcoin Law. El Mundo reports that 90% of crypto firms registered in the country are more “ghost kitchen” than “firm.” The Central Reserve Bank found only 20 active out of 181 providers. The rest, presumably, are too busy not existing or have simply changed names and joined a mariachi band. Apparently, at least 22 of these no-shows didn’t meet requirements like “integrity and honesty,” or forgot to turn in paperwork, which to be fair, is relatable—see also: my taxes, 2012.

If this all seems a bit wild, that’s because it is. El Salvador is still riding the Bitcoin roller coaster, hands in the air, while the IMF shrieks somewhere in the back. 🇸🇻🎢

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2025-04-30 09:48