ETH Madness: Firms Hoard Ethereum Like It’s 1699! 🚀

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Ah, mon ami! Since the illustrious Strategy (once known as Microstrategy, but who’s counting?) began stuffing its coffers with bitcoin (BTC), a parade of imitators has followed like eager courtiers at Versailles. Now, these corporate jesters are piling up altcoins—especially ethereum (ETH)—as if preparing for a grand masquerade. Behold, the spectacle of their folly!

Le Grand Théâtre de Trésors Cryptographiques: Ethereum Takes Center Stage in 2025 🎭

Ah, the madness! Companies are stacking digital baubles—ETH, SOL, DOGE, even HYPE and TRUMP (quelle horreur!)—as if they were collecting rare cheeses. But lately, ETH has become the belle of the ball, thanks to its staking allure. Oui, nothing says “sophisticated treasury strategy” like locking up coins and praying for yield. 🧀💰

This absurd trend may explain why ETH’s price is climbing faster than a courtier scrambling for favor. Between spot ETFs and corporate FOMO, the demand is as insatiable as a nobleman’s appetite for flattery. And so, we present to you the grandest fools of all—those hoarding ETH like it’s the last bottle of wine in France. 🍷

As of July 17, 2025, Bitmine (NYSE: BMNR) boasts a staggering 300,657 ETH—60,000 of which were acquired through options backed by $200 million in cash (because why not gamble with shareholders’ money?). By July 20, this pile of digital gold was worth $1.12 billion. Not to be outdone, Sharplink Gaming (Nasdaq: SBET) holds 280,706 ETH, and with fresh capital, they’re doubling down like a desperate gambler at the royal casino. 🎲

Then comes Bit Digital (Nasdaq: BTBT), the quiet butler who’s been sneaking ETH into the pantry. As of July 20, they hold 120,306 ETH, staking most of it like a vintner aging his finest barrels. Très élégant! 🍇

Ether Capital Corporation, with 46,274 ETH, staked 98% of it—because why use your coins when you can lock them away and hope for the best? Their last update was in Q1 2024, so perhaps they’re too busy counting imaginary gains to file paperwork. 🤷‍♂️

BTCS Inc. (Nasdaq: BTCS) holds 29,122 ETH, split between staking, solo nodes, and collateral on Aave. A 24% debt-to-assets ratio? Ah, the sweet scent of leverage—just like the court’s favorite perfumer, but riskier. 🌹

Intchains Group, with 7,023 ETH, saw a 23.2% jump last quarter—impressive, until you realize they’ve gone radio silent since. Gamesquare Holdings, the new kid at court, bought 1,818.84 ETH at $2,749 each, because nothing says “strategic investment” like buying high. Bravo! 👏

Exodus Movement Inc. trails with 2,729 ETH, while Vault Ventures PLC nibbles at the edges with 711.93 ETH. And finally, Mogo Inc. wraps up this farce with a humble 146 ETH—barely enough to buy a decent wig at Versailles. 🎩

Thus concludes our tale of corporate folly, where ETH is the new gold, and staking is the latest courtly dance. Will these firms prosper, or will their treasures vanish like the Sun King’s hairline? Only time will tell. À bientôt! 👑

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2025-07-21 01:10