If you ever wanted to see a group of government officials lose a game of digital hide-and-seek, look no further: the US federal court just told OFAC to stop trying to ground Tornado Cash—the crypto mixing service your mom has never heard of unless she works for North Korean hackers. 😏
Background of the Tornado Cash Case
This saga started back in August 2022, when the US Treasury decided that Tornado Cash was basically the James Bond gadget that every villain in a blockchain suit relied on. Their big claim? Tornado Cash was apparently North Korea’s favorite money deodorant, freshening up stolen crypto assets with a quick swirl. Naturally, Tornado Cash was like, “Don’t blame the blender because you make terrible smoothies.” And off to court everyone went. 🧑⚖️🍹
Then came March, which in the spirit of spring cleaning, had OFAC quietly erase Tornado Cash from the sanctions board—like scrubbing an embarrassing high school photo from Facebook but way less efficient. Yet, the platform wasn’t satisfied with just a digital ‘unfriending’; they wanted their whole reputation back, and maybe even a little “Sorry!” card from the Feds.
Timeline of Court Decisions
First, a lower court cheered for Big Brother and gave OFAC the green light to punish software with all the subtlety of a toddler with a permanent marker. But, plot twist! The Fifth Circuit Court walked in, channeling the energy of every surprise second-act hero, and flipped the decision. Finally, Judge Robert Pitman declared, “Leave software alone; it’s not like it’s sentient… yet.”
Legal Troubles Continue for Co-founder
Of course, no story about crypto is complete without a beleaguered founder. Enter Roman Storm: accused of laundering $1 billion using his own platform. (We all have hobbies.) The legal roller coaster stops for a scheduled thrill in July 2025, which gives him plenty of time to practice defensive coding—or knitting, which is less stressful.
In a synchronized burst of “Justice, please!” the DeFi Education Fund hopped in and told the White House that nabbing coders for code misuse could turn the US into the world’s least fun math camp. 🎢🚫
FAQ
Why did the court block the US Treasury’s sanctions on Tornado Cash?
According to Judge Pitman, aiming a bureaucratic slingshot at open-source code is like arresting the alphabet for bad poetry; the court said the software isn’t controlled by anyone (not even evil geniuses), so, no dice.
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2025-04-30 10:09