Forget Gold—Dimon Says Stockpile Guns, Not Bitcoin! 💥🔫

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Forget Gold—Dimon Says Stockpile Guns, Not Bitcoin! 💥🔫

Well now, if you thought the top brass at JPMorgan was all about fancy numbers and digital trinkets, think again. Jamie Dimon, that sharp-tongued fellow, has come out swingin’ at the idea of America hoardin’ digital fortunes like some modern-day Fort Knox. No sir, he reckons we’d be better off stockpiling guns, bullets, tanks, and all manner of firepower—’cause in the grand scheme of things, that’s what keeps folks safe, not a bunch of ones and zeros on some server far away. 🤔💣

JPMorgan CEO Slams Crypto Reserve—Tells US to Prepare With Bullets, Not Bitcoin

During a fancy gathering at the Reagan National Economic Forum out in Simi Valley, California, Mr. Dimon laid it on thick—he dismissed the idea of a “virtual Fort Knox for digital gold,” and frankly, he looked as if he’d rather deal with a swarm of hornets than cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin illustration He boldly declared, “We shouldn’t be stockpiling bitcoin. We should be stockpiling guns, bullets, tanks, planes, drones—you know, rare earths.” Yep, he’s pretty much of the opinion that our enemies won’t worry about whether we’ve got Bitcoin or not, but they will tremble at the sight of armed soldiers and machines of destruction. 💥

The man didn’t stop there. He made it plain as day—“We shouldn’t be stockpiling bitcoin … we should be stockpiling bullets”—and then got serious about America’s military readiness. Turns out, reports say we could run out of missiles in a week if things got spicy in the South China Sea. So maybe, just maybe, a virtual coin isn’t gonna save our hides when the chips are down. 🛑

Dimon’s got a good point, though. He’s warning that chasing after digital currency is like trying to fix a hole in the hull with a gold coin—looks fancy, but do little good when the ship’s sinking. “We know what we need to do,” he said, “this ain’t no mystery.” Well, if only our leaders listened half as well as that old banker talks. Despite calling Bitcoin a “fraud” and a “pet rock,” he’s now saying folks can buy it if they want, though he’d rather they didn’t expect JPMorgan to hold onto their digital dimes. Coins and cash It’s like he’s telling folks they have the right to smoke, even if he personally fancies the no-smoking sign. 🤷‍♂️

Now, some bright-eyed supporters argue that Bitcoin isn’t just about military hardware. Nope, they say it’s a kind of digital insurance policy—a safeguard against chaos, a shield in cyber battles, and a way for folks in tight spots to get a grip on some financial freedom. They see it not as an enemy of defense, but as a buddy helping the country dodge some future disasters. That’s a mighty different tune from the old guard, I tell ya. 🧐

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2025-06-01 21:31