Fountain Of Youth Review: John Krasinski And Natalie Portman Can’t Save This Indiana Jones Copycat

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Despite all the attention devoted to the lack of a great shark movie since “Jaws”, it seems that the absence of an iconic archaeology film since Steven Spielberg’s original “Indiana Jones” series has received less notice. Given his status as a groundbreaking blockbuster director, it’s no wonder that the adventure stories he crafted during this unparalleled early phase have yet to be matched by subsequent imitators. Re-watching any of those early films, one is left wondering why nobody has been able to replicate the magic. However, even the most successful films in the same vein, from “The Mummy” to “National Treasure”, still carry the label of being mere copies of Indiana Jones.

As a devoted fan, watching Guy Ritchie’s latest Apple original, “Fountain Of Youth,” serves as a constant reminder of why Steven Spielberg stands head and shoulders above the rest. Even esteemed directors with their own unique style, such as Ritchie, seem to be playing catch-up when compared to Spielberg’s groundbreaking work from decades past.

This fountain lacks life

Instead of comparing “Fountain of Youth” to “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” it seems more accurate to liken it to a grittier version of “Romancing the Stone,” with characters who bicker rather than romance. However, when considering the film’s connection to Guy Ritchie, whose signature wit and charm from his early British gangster movies have been showcased in diverse blockbusters like “Sherlock Holmes” and “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword,” the absence of such charisma is striking. This leaves a sense that the story, although predating this by several decades, has only received a lukewarm modernization attempt. It appears that the director may have shifted into a more director-for-hire role over the past decade, but in this case, his unique voice seems to be swallowed up in the production, striving for Spielbergian wonder to such an extent that his own identity is hard to discern. Indeed, it’s likely that the initial paragraphs of this review might be the first time you realized this was a new movie by Guy Ritchie.

The siblings at hand are Luke and Charlotte Purdue, portrayed by John Krasinski and Natalie Portman respectively. They are the children of a wealthy archaeologist, living distinct lives reflecting their father’s profession: one as an adventurer and art thief, the other as a museum curator in London. In a rather uninspired move by Ritchie, the London scenes were filmed entirely in Liverpool, without any effort to disguise it as London – a puzzling choice given that several of its landmarks have successfully passed off as American cities in movies like “The Batman,” easily concealing their artificiality. This filmmaker, however, seems unwilling to replicate such camouflage.

The siblings are present because Luke, after being involved in a high-profile robbery in Bangkok, has reconnected with his long-lost sister. This reunion is significant as it leads him to the next clue about the legendary Fountain of Youth, a quest that his sister is deeply invested in. The countdown has begun, and the mysterious Esme (played by Eiza González) is hot on their trail, intent on preventing anyone from obtaining an artifact too powerful for ordinary people. The narrative then follows a familiar pattern: a desperate chase against time, leading to an unknown destination, solving puzzles to uncover secrets, all reminiscent of playing “Tomb Raider.” However, it appears that director Ritchie is following James Vanderbilt’s underdeveloped screenplay without much improvement, as indicated by the opening motorcycle chase in Bangkok. This scene, with Krasinski navigating the city and various obstacles in a sequence of Rube Goldberg-like destruction, lacks energy, rhythm, and skillful editing.

The actors are phoning it in

The film’s action sequences seem surprisingly dull, possibly due to issues with character development, acting, or a combination of both, depending on your perspective of John Krasinski. Personally, I find his overly comical demeanor prevents him from convincingly portraying an action hero. Even in lighter genres that allow for more whimsical touches, like this film does, it still feels like a mistake in defining the character. For instance, traits typical of a Harrison Ford-esque hero — dry wit or humble bravery — clash awkwardly with James Vanderbilt’s screenplay attempts to subvert this archetype, such as having Luke show no romantic chemistry with his female adversaries. Whether intentional or not, Krasinski’s chemistry with Eiza González is about as steamy as a cold shower, and he performs better in playful banter with Natalie Portman. However, a viewer not fully engaged might mistake them for siblings instead of romantic partners.

The director, known for swiftly transitioning to the next project after wrapping up filming, seems unusual given how many portions of “Fountain of Youth” appear to be re-shot during post-production, particularly a standout scene featuring Stanley Tucci, whose expository cameo seems more aimed at filling a plot gap from an earlier edit rather than adding depth to the story. The film, although set in Vatican City, was evidently filmed in Britain on a gloomy day, further emphasizing director Guy Ritchie’s lack of attention to detail in setting up authentic locations. This scene led me to wish it would be Tucci’s final appearance in such underdeveloped blockbuster roles, following closely on the heels of his grumpy portrayal in “The Electric State,” a film that was remarkably poor compared to this one. In an uncanny coincidence, if I received a nickel every time a Stanley Tucci straight-to-streaming movie concluded with an Oasis song this year, I’d have two nickels — a small amount, but it’s striking that it happened twice in the same year.

The question ‘who is this movie for?’ holds no relevance in film critique as it’s a matter for marketing teams; it doesn’t impact the film’s quality. However, with its heavy emphasis on adventure blockbuster tropes, one might ponder who would find this entertaining. Older viewers may find their minds wandering to superior films they enjoyed in their youth, while younger ones could be taken aback that an underwater ruin and pyramid tomb storyline can be as dull as this one. It’s likely to vanish swiftly from streaming platforms and fade into the digital void, failing to spark the same excitement that modern audiences feel when discovering Indiana Jones for the first time.

“Fountain of Youth” hits Apple TV+ on May 23.

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2025-05-22 19:32