Japanese Bitcoin Hoarder Sets Up Shop in Florida—Here’s What Could Go Spectacularly Right (or Wrong)

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Metaplanet, a Japanese company whose business model appears to be “acquiring as much Bitcoin as is legally (or at least physically) possible,” is doing the sensible thing every sun-hungry pensioner and hopeful alligator wrestle-fan eventually does: it’s moving to Florida.

On May 1, Metaplanet declared (with all the subtlety of a Bitcoin maxi at Thanksgiving dinner) they’re launching a shiny new subsidiary just for the United States, and—plot twist—it’s not in Silicon Valley, New York, or even Austin, but Florida. So if you feel the humidity rising, it’s probably just all that fresh institutional capital sweating buckets. The plan? Raise a tidy $250 million to gobble up more Bitcoin and, presumably, to see if “number go up” works better near palm trees and questionable theme parks.

Metaplanet clarified that Miami—unsurprisingly, also the spiritual home of neon shorts and late-night NFT parties—will host the head office. In a statement full of glowing adjectives and possibly too much Cuban coffee, the company described Florida as:

“Florida, a rapidly emerging hub for Bitcoin focused companies and financial innovation, recognized for its business-friendly policies and rising status as a global center of capital and technology.”

Translation: Miami is warm, full of fast cars, and nobody blinks if you try to pay for a coffee in Bitcoin (even if your coffee arrives two blocks away by the time the transaction clears). Apparently, Florida’s pro-Bitcoin laws and general laissez-faire attitude toward high-risk finance have led to a situation where even the gators are considering blockchain careers. Plus, being in a new timezone means Metaplanet’s employees can ignore emails at entirely new hours of the day. 🌴🕒

Florida: Land of Beaches, Bills, and Blockchain Bros

The announcement comes as Florida tightens its grip on the “Most Bitcoin-Friendly State” sash. In April, a committee with a title longer than most SEC disclosures gave a thumbs-up to a bill that would let the State Treasury invest in Bitcoin. That’s right—the same folks who keep the roads paved and the flamingos happy might soon be hodling too. The bill, first proposed in February, suggests Florida is going all-in (or at least, all-mildly-in) on crypto chaos.

Florida’s political arena is as interconnected with crypto as a Congressman’s holiday calendar with donor dinners. Two enterprising Republicans, flush with $1.5 million from PAC Fairshake, won seats in Congress—proving that in Florida, you really can buy your way into anything, including lawmaking. 🍊👔

Meanwhile, the state’s retirement fund—the Florida Retirement System’s State Board of Administration—was found to be holding 160,470 “Strategy” shares, worth around $46 million. For the unfamiliar: “Strategy” is what used to be called MicroStrategy, the firm that decided ordinary profit and loss statements were too pedestrian and instead made Bitcoin their personality. Metaplanet, eager to follow in those numerically obsessed footsteps, naturally wants in.

All this came on the heels of Florida’s CFO, Jimmy Patronis, suggesting the state’s retirement overlords pour some pensioner savings into Bitcoin—because what could possibly go wrong with giving Grandma’s bingo money a high-volatility makeover?

Metaplanet: More Bitcoin, Fewer Regrets?

Currently, Metaplanet admits (with more pride than anyone should about virtual coins) to holding a cool 5,000 Bitcoin—worth about $474.7 million, which is, depending on how you squint at the chart, either a hefty war chest or an entry ticket to the world’s largest rollercoaster. While that doesn’t quite rival MicroStrategy’s “I’ll take 2% of all Bitcoin ever, thanks” record, it’s nothing to sneeze at—especially as it’s a 184% increase from back in January, when they only had 1,762 BTC. It’s the corporate equivalent of panicking at Bitcoin’s price graph and just smashing “Buy” on repeat.

April was a shopping spree the likes of which you haven’t seen since a Black Friday punch-up at Walmart: 696 BTC for $67 million, then 330 BTC for $28.2 million at an easy-breezy $85,605 per coin, and finally, as a digestive biscuit, another 145 BTC for about $13.4 million. The result: a grand tally of 5,000 BTC, bought, stored, and ready for whichever direction the Bitcoin rollercoaster accelerates next. 🎢💸

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2025-05-01 12:04