Massive AI Curriculum in UAE Schools—Pemberley’s Jealous! 🤖📚

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a government possessed of ambition must be in want of a fashionable innovation. Thus, in an admirable display of forward-thinking—some might even call it a fever of progress—the distinguished leaders of the United Arab Emirates have decreed that no young mind, from the very cradle of education, shall be denied the delights (and occasional torments) of Artificial Intelligence.

Beginning henceforth at the tender ages of kindergarten and extending through the tempestuous years of youth, all pupils are to be inculcated with the wonders of AI. Indeed, the Ministry of Education—never one to trifle with half-measures—professes a longing that each child, whether inclined to equations or more likely to daydream, be schooled in the mysteries of data, algorithms, and such other arcane terms as make a governess sigh.

“As part of the UAE’s long-term plans to prepare future generations for a different future, a new world, and advanced skills, the UAE government today approved the final curriculum to introduce ‘Artificial Intelligence’ as a subject across all stages of government education in the…”

— HH Sheikh Mohammed (@HHShkMohd) May 4, 2025

The news, delivered with gravitas on the amusing contraption called ‘X’ (for what reason they do not simply call it ‘Twitter’ is beyond me), assures us this course will provide not only a technical grasp of machines but also a moral compass for their use. After all, while it is well to understand one’s algorithms, it is better still not to let them run away with one’s virtue—or fortune.

This double-edged approach—awareness and skill—intends to create not mere users, but forces of innovation, fit to keep the nation as splendid as a ball at Netherfield. Should the rest of the world be wise, perhaps they too will one day busy themselves with classes on neural networks and ethics, instead of endlessly practicing their pianoforte.

The UAE, thus, sets its cap at both technological prowess and the cultivation of character, a society in which machinery and good conduct may—one hopes—coexist without scandal. Teachers and parents wait with bated breath to see if their children grow up to be Viscounts of Virtue, or simply the first generation whose imaginary friends answer back with suspicious accuracy.

In a final flourish, it was declared on 18th April that the first integrated regulatory ecosystem for artificial intelligence has been launched within the government—no small feat, and one certain to make other countries look on with all the jealousy of Lady Catherine, denied her favourite carriage.

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2025-05-05 13:51