Metaplanet’s $21M Bitcoin Bond: High Society, Zero Interest, Maximum Drama! đŸ„‚

by
  • Metaplanet hurls $21.25 million at the feet of Bitcoin, as if tossing roses before royalty.
  • They now clutch 5,555 BTC, making them Asia’s Bitcoin Baron—Downton Abbey with blockchains, darling.
  • Zero-interest bonds—because why spoil a party with actual returns? Early birds can flap away at their leisure.

In a maneuver that might make even Gatsby blush, the Japanese investment house Metaplanet has announced a lavish $21.25 million bond sale. But wait—do they plan to spread the wealth among the plebeians? Of course not! They’re buying more Bitcoin. The entire pot, every yen. Apparently the board’s idea of diversification is shopping in only one department—Bitcoin’s.

Metaplanet’s Bitcoin Buffet: Eleventh in the World’s Crypto Pageant

Now, these aren’t just ordinary bonds, but the rather dashing “0% Ordinary Bonds.” Interest payments? Absolutely passĂ©. One simply buys them at a discount and then—should one not lose the ticket—redeems them later for the full sum. If you fancy your money back before everyone else, simply announce it to the butler and exit stage left.

On May 9, Metaplanet’s directors convened, doubtless over fine sake, and issued these zero-thrill bonds to EVO Fund—a mysterious Cayman Islands entity, because if you’re not using an exotic financial structure, are you even investing? 🍾 The curtain falls on this agreement in November 2025, except, of course, if anyone wants to leave the theatre early.

Not content with modest gestures, Metaplanet, just days earlier, scooped up 555 Bitcoins at an average of $96,134 apiece—blowing $54.4 million like confetti at a wedding. They now possess 5,555 coins—one for every last symphonic flourish in the background, acquired for just under half a billion. Average cost? $86,672 per coin. Not quite bargain bin shopping, but very on brand.

And so, Metaplanet serenely ascends to the top of Asia’s public Bitcoin aristocracy, and finds itself 11th in the global pecking order. If that doesn’t earn an embroidered sash, what will?

New Bonds, New Bitcoins: Will Metaplanet Crash the Crypto Ball?

At Bitcoin for Corporations 2025, a gathering undoubtedly full of velvet chairs and velvetier promises, Metaplanet CEO Simon Gerovich waxed rhapsodic about Bitcoin’s life-altering, waistline-slimming powers. The company, now measuring performance, joy, and presumably dinner parties by Bitcoin’s standards, claims to be among 2024’s most dazzling equities.

Gerovich, possibly channelling Cassandra and Gatsby at once, foretold a “tidal wave of corporate Bitcoin adoption” approaching, though whether this wave brings profits or just soggy portfolios is left as an exercise for the reader.

With Bitcoin prancing at $104,000 a coin, Metaplanet’s fundraising would net them approximately 205 more tokens—a tidy haul for anyone playing high-stakes Monopoly.

Metaplanet has decided ‘conventional’ is thoroughly overrated, tossing tradition aside in favor of relentless Bitcoin buying sprees and bonds that behave more like IOUs between old friends at a decadent soirĂ©e. Will other companies join this exuberant parade, or simply watch—champagne glass in hand—as Metaplanet leads the conga line of crypto flamboyance? Stay tuned! đŸ„łđŸš€

Read More

2025-05-10 02:01