In a twist worthy of a modern Russian novel, MoonPay has swooped in and acquired Iron, the kind of company that sounds like it might build steel mills but instead crafts API-driven stablecoin infrastructure. Apparently, we’ve moved from bricks and mortar to bits and bytes! 🧱➡️💻
Two acquisitions in two months? MoonPay clearly believes that when it comes to stablecoin payments, you’ve got to be more ambitious than your neighbor who thinks installing a fancy doorbell is “living in the future.” 🚀
With Iron’s tech, MoonPay aims to make stablecoin transactions instant, cheap, and borderless—basically everything you wish your wedding planner could pull off. It’s like PayPal’s Braintree move all over again; only this time, MoonPay’s CEO Ivan Soto-Wright has confidently declared, “This is our Braintree moment.” And okay, Ivan, we get it, you’re excited, but nobody brags this much about their second cup of coffee. ☕
The stablecoin market churned a jaw-dropping $27 trillion last year, which is approximately equal to the number of times your grandma asks how Bitcoin works. Fear not! MoonPay and blockchain-based payments are here to save the day—just don’t expect Grandma to understand it anytime soon. 😅
Of course, competition is knocking on MoonPay’s door like that annoying neighbor with a louder lawn mower. Stripe recently showed off by acquiring Bridge Network for $1.1 billion, which is enough money to buy approximately 800 million lawnmowers. Even with competition breathing down its neck, MoonPay boasts a $3.4 billion valuation and an impressive 112% jump in net revenue for 2024. Hang on, it looks like somebody ordered success with a side of “showing off.” 🤑
Meanwhile, Venmo partnered with MoonPay last October, allowing its 60 million U.S. users to buy crypto with Venmo balances. Let’s face it, Venmo users probably got into this for the emojis in their transaction descriptions, but maybe—just maybe—this is their chance to actually learn what stablecoin means. Spoiler alert: It’s not about growing potatoes. 🥔
CNBC probably spent hours dissecting MoonPay’s moves, but at least we can trust them not to throw a random fireworks emoji in the middle of the article… Oh wait, that’s our job. 💥
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2025-03-13 18:17