Quantum Computing? Saylor Says Relax, Bitcoin’s Got This… Probably

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Quantum Computing? Saylor Says Relax, Bitcoin’s Got This… Probably

  • Saylor waves off quantum fears as if they’re just a particularly bad headache that takes decades to notice.
  • He assures us that Bitcoin will simply upgrade itself faster than a caffeinated hacker — because that’s normal.

Most experts are clutching their pearls and screaming about how superfast quantum computers might turn Bitcoin into a pile of digital smoldering ashes. But our favorite microstrategy guru, Michael Saylor, is sitting this one out, mumbling something about “not worried” and “long term.”

In a recent CNBC interview, Saylor, who clearly has a time machine set to the future, said:

“I’m not worried about it. Bitcoin is a protocol; the software gets upgraded every year, the hardware is being upgraded continuously, and it is the hardest thing to hack.” 🚀

He added with all the confidence of a man who’s watched too many sci-fi movies, that they’ll “upgrade the BTC ‘software’” when the quantum apocalypse is finally knocking on the door — which, of course, is probably sometime between next Tuesday and the year 2124.

Meanwhile, the folks who actually study quantum computers seem a tad worried. These wizardly chips, like Google’s Willow and Microsoft’s newer model, threaten to crack encryption faster than you can find your keys in the sofa cushions. They could make all your Bitcoin private keys as useless as a chocolate teapot.

The Quantum Race: Who’s Winning and Who’s Just Playing Catch-Up

The market’s been jittery ever since Google unveiled Willow in late 2024, promising to turn your Bitcoin into digital toast if they so choose. Now, Microsoft has rolled out what some folks claim is a “better” chip, and the crypto community is practically hyperventilating over whether to buy quantum-resistant armor. Enter BIP 360, because apparently, quantum-proofing is now a fashion statement.

Saylor kindly points out that the big tech giants like Google, Microsoft, and IBM likely won’t launch their quantum monsters en masse — probably because they know it would end their careers faster than the speed of light. He famously said:

“Google and Microsoft won’t sell you a quantum computer that cracks modern cryptography because it’ll destroy them, the US government, and the banking system.” 🏦💥

Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s market cap hums along at around $2.3 trillion, which is coincidentally the same amount as a small, slightly eccentric country’s GDP. The whales, governments, and other mysterious entities hold roughly 3.3 million BTC, worth over $350 billion — enough to buy several islands or one very ambitious yacht.

Considering the ongoing love affair between traditional finance and crypto, a quantum-powered disaster could ripple through the financial cosmos faster than you can say “Seymour’s Law.” But Saylor’s firm alone holds over 580,000 BTC, worth more than some small nations’ entire debt. So, maybe, just maybe, they’ll keep fighting off the quantum monsters a little longer — or at least until the next big upgrade.

All in all, while the supercomputing apocalypse might be 5 to 20 years away, the chatter and chewed fingernails are plenty enough to keep the crypto world busy. Or paranoid. Or both. Either way, Bitcoin’s future is looking more silicon-tastic than ever! 🚀✨

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2025-06-10 10:21