Revolut’s Latest Scheme: More Derivatives Than You Can Count! 🚀💰

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Bank building with cryptocurrency symbols

Ah, the saga continues…

  • Revolut, that digital darling, now dreams of expanding into the twisted labyrinth of derivatives, all based on a tiny job posting that screams “trust us, we know what we’re doing.”
  • This London-based ‘genius’ firm launched its crypto playground for pros in May 2024, only to spread its wings across the EU six months later—like a boastful bird spreading its feathers.
  • Meanwhile, the U.K. crypto derivatives market is as lively as a drunken street braw, riding high on the recent debut of the FCA-regulated GFO-X platform—because what’s life without a little financial chaos?

Digital bank Revolut, that sly fox in digital feathers, is plotting to spice up its crypto trade with new derivatives—oh joy! A fresh posting on their website hints at mighty plans to turn “zero to scale,” whatever that means, probably just a way to sound important while drowning in chaos.

They’ve been busy, debuting their crypto exchange for pros in London, then spreading it across Europe—because why not? Might as well hang a sign, “Come one, come all, to the circus of finance.”

In recent months, the crypto derivatives market in the U.K. gained some momentum—probably because everyone got bored and decided to gamble a little more. The recent FCA-approved GFO-X platform opened its doors, stirring the pot further.

Meanwhile, Mike Novogratz’s Galaxy, that oh-so-ingenious firm, eyes a slice of the pie with FCA approval to trade derivatives—because nothing screams stability like chaos masked as opportunity.

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2025-06-03 19:12