Shiba Inu: To the Moon or Back to the Doghouse? 🚀

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So, another ‘analyst’ – Maddox, they call him – has peered into the swirling mists of the crypto markets and divined a… rally. For Shiba Inu. 126%, he proclaims! As if numbers thrown at a wall guarantee fortune. It’s enough to make a man yearn for the honest toil of the factory floor, where at least your blisters were earned, not conjured by the whims of digital air.

The Illusion of Ascent

Apparently, this Shiba Inu bauble – having somehow clawed its way to 18th place amongst the cryptocurrency rabble, surpassing even the venerable Litecoin (may it rest in peace) – is showing “bullish divergence” in something called the RSI. RSI! Sounds like a peasant’s cough. And this, naturally, means… what? More fools willing to part with their kopeks? A weekly 200EMA resistance, they say. Sounds formidable. Like a particularly stubborn cabbage.

A “High Volume Node” lies above, the oracle informs us. Close above it, and a “bullish trend” shall descend. Oh, heavens to Betsy! It’s all so dreadfully predictable. First the node, then the pivot at $0.00001774 (a figure that feels less like finance and more like a serial number), then… oh joy… the $0.0000579 High Volume Node! It’s a pyramid scheme with extra steps. 🧐

They chatter about “golden pockets” and Fibonacci retracements as if mathematics has suddenly become a roadmap to wealth. A “bearish divergence” threatens. But fear not! This will be “diverted with a thrust high.” A thrust high! Sounds like a bar brawl. And naturally, it’s a “MEME season.” As if the whole thing isn’t one giant joke at the expense of the hopeful and the naive. 🤡

And Dogecoin, that original canine folly, is apparently “ready to go.” Of course it is. And Shiba Inu is expected to follow, because… correlation! Because if one ridiculous dog runs, they all run! Dogecoin is up 38%—a testament to the astonishing gullibility of mankind. Shiba Inu, trailing pitifully behind at 16%, has managed to sneak past Litecoin. A victory for… what exactly? The absurdity of it all? It’s now worth $8.89 billion. Enough to feed a small nation, or perhaps just line the pockets of a few lucky speculators. 💸

Whispers of Insanity

Javon Marks, another seer of the digital age, agrees: $0.000032 is the target. A 135% move. The start of something… larger? Larger foolishness, more likely. Friedrich, with a name hinting at philosophical depth, predicts a retest of the all-time high of $0.00008845. “SHIB is about to blast!” he cries. Blast into oblivion, perhaps. The accompanying chart suggests at least $0.00008032. I suspect it suggests a path to heartache as well.

As of this writing, of course, it’s down 3%. A minor setback, they’ll say. A buying opportunity! It’s trading around $0.0000151. A number so small it’s almost invisible, yet capable of stealing people’s futures. Ah, the glorious age of progress! We have harnessed the atom, reached for the stars, and invented… this. 🤦

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2025-07-23 03:06