Sullen Fortunes: NFT Market Rises, Polygon Weeps as Ethereum Sips Tea

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At the threshold of a new week, the NFT market, that restless creature, has decided not to faint on the floor, but instead to stir and blink open a bleary eye: sales have risen a languid 8.17% to $125.1 million. Last week’s decline is but a memory—an embarrassing, unfortunate one, like the time one dines at Aunt Olga’s and the soup is inexplicably cold.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin has performed a little trick for the crowd: $107,000—bravo, comrade Bitcoin, bravo. Ethereum, that most philosophical of coins, prefers a stoic posture, unmoved all week, sipping its tea in the corner. The global crypto market cap tiptoes at $3.29 trillion, a feat of arithmetic if not of thrill, up a pittance from last week’s $3.28 trillion. Call the newspapers: the sky is not falling, but neither is it rising.

From the oracles at CryptoSlam: the market participation, like my uncle at a family wedding, remains stubbornly unchanged. NFT buyers hold steady at 1,061,348—one wonders what they see in these tokens, but nobody dares ask. Sellers, an ambitious folk, climb by 8.09% to 38,494, perhaps convinced riches await. Transactions tally a respectful 1,717,339, an increase of 1.82%—one suspects the remainder have stepped out for a cigarette.🕵️‍♂️

Immutable holds its position

Immutable reclaims its top hat and monocle, sitting regally atop the NFT leaderboard with $33.3 million in sales—up 15.34%. A polite bow from Immutable; the audience yawns.

Ethereum, back from contemplating the abyss, seizes second place with $25.6 million, an energetic 31.77% jump. But not content with mere ascension, Ethereum has also cleaned house—wash trading down 14.24% to a mere $1.6 million. Fewer shenanigans, more “legitimacy,” if such a thing exists in crypto.😏

Polygon, alas, finds itself tumbling to third, down 29.42% to $16.5 million. Wash trading teeters at a pathetic $34,545, a 97.45% drop. Polygon, once proud, now clutching its pearls and wondering where it all went wrong.

As for the others: Mythos Chain lounges at fourth with $14 million, a diminutive decrease; BNB struts into fifth at $9.1 million, up 16.72%; Bitcoin in sixth, sips coffee with a modest 2.04% increase to $8.1 million. One imagines them sitting at a café disputing whose fortune is least undeserved.

Curiously, buyers have multiplied across most chains. Polygon grows 35.63%—perhaps a holiday rush, or mass confusion. Bitcoin trails at 23.22%, Mythos Chain tries to keep up at 19.32%. One can always hope.

Now to the collections: Guild of Guardians Heroes catapults—silently and with great dignity—into first place with $19.3 million in sales, up 15.94%. Immutable’s shadow, it seems, is long and lucrative.

Courtyard on Polygon, however, slides dramatically to second with $15.4 million, as buyers and sellers vanish like actors in a bad play—down 80.14% and 91.83%, respectively. Curtain call soon?

DMarket shuffles to third, down 1.66% at $8.9 million. Guild of Guardians Avatars smirks from fourth at $7.6 million, up nearly 6% with what can only be a smug wink.😉

XSY Deposit, that inscrutable child of Avalanche, reappears in fifth, unchanged at $6.6 million. A single buyer and seller reign supreme, possibly the same person wearing a fake moustache. Gods Unchained Cards, a drama queen if ever there was one, leaps 31.24% to $6.3 million—bravo, applause, more confetti!

The week’s high-value drama:

  • CryptoPunks #1831 sold for 150 ETH ($389,846) — A pixelated face worth more than my dacha.
  • CryptoPunks #9778 sold for 150 ETH ($377,958) — For those who don’t trust banks, or reality.
  • CryptoPunks #4868 sold for 76.5 ETH ($201,933) — It gazes back into the void.
  • CryptoPunks #5586 sold for 70.07 ETH ($185,292) — Punk or philosopher? Hard to tell.
  • CryptoPunks #7516 sold for 60 ETH ($158,378) — My mother used to say never buy art you can’t hang; what would she say now?

The NFT market, ever the enigmatic aunt in one’s family, lurches onward—part tragic, part farce, all spectacle.🌆

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2025-06-28 22:34