Right, so Cathie Wood, bless her cotton socks, from ARK Invest, reckons Tesla (TSLA) is going to be, like, astronomically valuable by 2030. I mean, who needs therapy when you have investment predictions, eh? 🤷♀️
Apparently, she was chin-wagging on some YouTube channel called “The Diary of a CEO” – sounds thrilling – and she’s predicting TSLA will jump, get this, 744% in five years. All thanks to their robotaxi platform. Robotaxis. As if getting an Uber now isn’t awkward enough. 🙄
Wood says these self-driving cars will be the main event for Tesla. The pièce de résistance. The thing that makes you go “ooh” and “aah,” presumably while simultaneously questioning your life choices.
“Our prediction in five years is $2,600, and 90% of that valuation comes not from the electric vehicle, but from this robotaxi platform.”
“Because the electric car, if you think about it, is a one-shot sale. Sell and hope they come when they’re replacing their car.” One-shot sale? Like a bad date. You sell the dream, and then… nothing. 🍸
Elon, bless his chaotic heart, was on some earnings call, rambling about how Tesla owners can make money renting out their self-driving cars. Instead of, you know, just parking them. Because who needs a passive income stream when you can have the existential dread of strangers potentially vomiting in your car? 🤢
“And I expect us to be operating unsupervised activity with our internal fleet in several cities by the end of the year. Then as probably next year when people are able to add or subtract their car from the fleet. So, kind of like Airbnb, where you can sort of add or subtract your house or your guestroom, add it to the Airbnb or don’t add it to the Airbnb inventory. If you’re traveling for a month, you can or whatever the case may be, you can let other people use your house.”
So, basically, Tesla’s got two ways to bleed you dry… I mean, generate recurring revenue. For them and you, supposedly.
“You could subscribe to the network. It could be either or: subscription or ala carte if you don’t think you’re going to use it that much.”
As of Monday, TSLA is worth $308 a share. So, you know, maybe buy a share. Or don’t. I’m not your financial advisor. I’m just a voice in your head. 😈
Read More
- Cookie Run Kingdom Town Square Vault password
- Fortress Saga tier list – Ranking every hero
- Cat Fantasy tier list
- Castle Duels tier list – Best Legendary and Epic cards
- 9 Most Underrated Jeff Goldblum Movies
- Mini Heroes Magic Throne tier list
- Maiden Academy tier list
- Hero Tale best builds – One for melee, one for ranged characters
- Gold Rate Forecast
- XTER PREDICTION. XTER cryptocurrency
2025-06-10 17:41