The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

As a connoisseur of comedy and someone who has seen their fair share of hilarious moments, I must say that you have certainly hit the nail on the head with these quotes from Napoleon Dynamite! From his awkward attempts at flattery to his unique insights into martial arts fashion, each quote brings a fresh dose of humor that never fails to crack me up.


Everyone seems to have a preferred quote from the iconic comedy movie “Napoleon Dynamite,” written and directed by Jared Hess. This timeless high school flick from 2004 has become legendary, known for its side-splitting dialogue that continues to echo today. Even twenty years later, people can be heard urging others to “vote for Pedro” or encouraging them to “bow to your sensei!

Nearly every actor from the cast of Napoleon Dynamite gets a chance to be amusing, but it’s Jon Heder who steals the show with numerous hilarious lines. Despite being underpaid compared to expectations for his role as the titular awkward Idaho teenager, Heder delivers some of the film’s funniest moments. Here are some of his best one-liners that made my list of the funniest Napoleon Dynamite quotes.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Whatever I Feel Like I Wanna Do. Gosh!”

As a gamer, I’d say: In the movie, it doesn’t take long to figure out Napoleon’s character. On our school bus ride, sharing space with elementary kids for some odd reason, a fellow passenger politely inquired about my day’s plans. His question felt like an annoyance to Napoleon, and that was just his typical response – brusque and uninterested, no matter the query.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“The Worst Day Of My Life, What Do You Think?” 

On yet another occasion, Napoleon displayed his tendency towards impolite responses to friendly inquiries, this time stemming from his grandmother, Carlinda (later famously portrayed by Sandy Martin in the movie Luca), who was simply curious about her grandson’s experiences. To be fair, he had indeed experienced a difficult day.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Napoleon, Don’t Be Jealous That I’ve Been Chatting Online With Babes All Day”

As a gamer, I’d say: My brother Napoleon’s doppelganger, Kip (the guy who played him again in Fox’s animated series, based on the movie), doesn’t seem to be doing much to brighten up his day. To add insult to injury, this 32-year-old homebody, who seems more comfortable with walls than people, casually brags about his supposed triumphs in online dating, without any provocation whatsoever.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“I Mean, We Chat Online For, Like, Two Hours Every Day. So, I Guess You Could Say Things Are Gettin’ Pretty Serious”

In simpler terms, Kip confidently continues to boast about his online dating experiences when conversing with Uncle Rico (Jon Gries from The White Lotus Season 2). Given his self-assured demeanor while discussing his relationship with a woman he met online, many people suspected that “LaFawnduh” might have been catfishing him. However, it’s later revealed that this woman, portrayed by Shondrella Avery, is genuine, and she eventually agrees to marry Kip, making his boast even more noteworthy.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Last Week, Japanese Scientists Explaced… Placed Explosive Detonators At The Bottom Of Lake Loch Ness To Blow Nessie Out Of The Water”

Given my affection for mystical creatures like ligers and unicorns, it’s not surprising that Napoleon aimed to reveal the Loch Ness Monster during his recent presentation, a cryptid renowned worldwide. Initially, I found myself sympathizing with his classmates as they chuckled at his proposal, but their amusement intensified when he disclosed that Scottish wizards were hired to safeguard “those who pursue the tranquil life of our aquatic companion.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Tina, You Fat Lard, Come Get Some Dinner!”

Despite his strong affinity for mythical beasts, Napoleon appears to have a cold spot for real animals, even his own family’s pet llama, Tina, whom he addresses with an oddly unfriendly remark upon meeting. He seems more inclined to order her to eat rather than making an effort to prepare the meal himself.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?”

As a devotee, it’s intriguing to ponder why Napoleon, who doesn’t appear particularly enthused about chickens, chose to assist a farmer in managing his feathered flock. Strangely enough, this man seems to lack the farming finesse if he can’t grasp Napoleon’s query concerning the length of his chickens’ talons.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Now, Just Imagine You’re Weightless, In The Middle Of The Ocean, Surrounded By Tiny Little Seahorses”

Tina Majorino, known for her role as Deb on Veronica Mars, develops a romantic interest with Napoleon despite agreeing to attend the prom with Pedro (Efren Ramirez). She speaks little in the movie, but delivers a striking and almost dreamlike line during the scene where Uncle Rico’s portrait is being taken. To be honest, if a photographer were to guide me like that, it would definitely help calm my nerves.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“I Already Made Like Infinity Of Those At Scout Camp”

Napoleon’s initial encounter with Deb didn’t go smoothly. The situation became uncomfortable when she pitched her “Glamour Shots” business to him, but it took a turn for the worse when she presented her “hand-made crafts.” In response, he frankly stated that he already has an abundance of his own homemade trinket keychains, which clearly upset her.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Your Mom Goes To College”

What truly pushes Deb to flee, leaving her belongings behind at Napoleon’s place, is when Kip abruptly interrupts without justification and makes a rude comment. Deb explains to Napoleon that she’s trying to gather funds for college, and his older brother responds with an unexpected twist on an age-old comeback. It’s Kip’s arrogant look that really seals the deal, as it’s such a classic move.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“I See You’re Drinking 1%. Is That ‘Cause You Think You’re Fat? ‘Cause You’re Not. You Could Be Drinking Whole If You Wanted To”

Every time Napoleon tries to engage in a friendly conversation with Deb, it seems the situation becomes even more uncomfortable than their previous encounters. While I acknowledge his effort to offer praise to others, it’s disappointing that at his stage in life, he doesn’t seem self-aware enough to avoid coming off as insincere.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“It Took Me, Like, Three Hours To Finish The Shading On Your Upper Lip. It’s Probably The Best Drawing I’ve Ever Done”

Once more, Napoleon fails dismally in communicating with Trisha (Emily Kennard Dunn), his classmate, over the phone. Interestingly, she consents to accompany him to the prom due to her mother’s pressure. It is evident that if he hadn’t described her unflatteringly, she would have declined right away. This unattractive depiction of her appears to be a significant factor behind her abrupt decision to leave him as soon as they reach the dance.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“I Like Your Sleeves. They’re Real Big.”

Ultimately, when Napoleon noticed the voluminous sleeves on Deb’s dress, he found an opportunity to offer a charming compliment, although it is highly probable that such a compliment would not have been welcomed by many others.

As they dance to “Forever Young” by Alphaville, he inquires if her relationship with Pedro is becoming quite significant, to which she confirms they are just friends. This moment hints at potential seriousness between them and is one of the sweetest, less complicated scenes in the comedy.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“You Think Anybody Wants A Roundhouse Kick To The Face While I’m Wearing These Bad Boys? Forget About It.”

In the tradition of his memorable, short-yet-impactful performances in popular comedies like “Office Space” from the ’90s and the recent hit horror-comedy “The Blackening” (2022), Diedrich Bader portrays Rex, a character who runs a unique martial arts program that Kip joins. Almost every line spoken by him in this scene is hilarious, but I particularly enjoy his attempts to appear intimidating while displaying his baggy, patriotic pants.

The 15 Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

“Well, I Could’ve Told You That.”

In simpler terms, some delightful parts of the movie occur when Uncle Rico receives his due punishment for being selfish and rude, like when Napoleon discovers that the so-called time machine they bought online was worthless. Watching Rico in discomfort as he warns Kip about the device’s potential danger just before it zaps him creates one of the film’s most amusing scenes.

Are you of the opinion that I was fortunate in selecting the funniest Napoleon Dynamite quotes, or would it be more accurate to say that I’m perhaps overly amused by them and might be considered a bit humorous myself?

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2024-09-22 18:07