This 2012 Sci-Fi Action Flick Has One of the Wildest Alien Battles Ever Put on the Water

This 2012 Sci-Fi Action Flick Has One of the Wildest Alien Battles Ever Put on the Water

As a die-hard fan of cheesy, action-packed blockbusters and someone who grew up playing Battleship, I can wholeheartedly vouch for the 2012 movie adaptation. It’s not just a mindless popcorn flick; it’s a masterclass in absurdity and a love letter to the game that brought countless hours of joy to millions of children worldwide.


Have you ever had a go at the timeless game called Battleship? In this game, you and another player assume the roles of naval commanders engaged in a conflict that seems reminiscent of World War II. You take turns attacking each other, aiming to locate and sink your opponent’s ships hidden on a grid representing the ocean. If you manage to sink all their ships, you emerge victorious.

In a movie adaptation of “Battleship”, it’s likely that the plot would closely resemble the fundamental concept of the board game – a battle between two naval forces. One might even categorize it as a partially historical war film for dramatic effect.

In a surprising turn of events, the creators of the 2012 “Battleship” film, whom I genuinely refer to as geniuses, chose an unexpected path that would make any rational person opt for a more conventional approach. The result was a film filled with implausible and silly moments, derived from what should have been a straightforward adaptation. At this moment, it is available for streaming on Peacock, and it’s just brilliant in its absurdity.

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As a gaming enthusiast, let me say this: Battleship delivers what it promises – battleships! The story unfolds in the present day, primarily on the stunning islands of Hawaii, where the U.S. Navy is engaged in the annual RIMPAC exercise. But unlike the game, our protagonists – Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, and surprisingly, Rihanna – are not battling each other. Instead, they’re facing off against extraterrestrial invaders.

Indeed, it seems that the filmmakers may have been inspired by the triumph of another movie franchise owned by Hasbro, namely Transformers. Contrary to popular belief, Battleship isn’t about two battle groups clashing with battleships, destroyers, and cruisers. Instead, this movie introduces us to a set of rather common extraterrestrials who arrive in a massive spacecraft over the Pacific Ocean. They establish a barrier that confines several ships within it, disabling their communication systems and rendering many advanced weapons powerless.

The Alien Threat in Battleship

In a unique twist, these aliens aren’t run-of-the-mill creatures. Instead, they have been meticulously designed by reverse-engineering elements from the movie “Battleship,” so much so that it seems as though their characteristics are mere secondary aspects to the main theme (which isn’t present in this film). Despite being enclosed within the same force field area as the U.S. vessels, these elusive aliens manage to disable communication and tracking devices. In response, our heroes draw up a grid system and utilize it to pinpoint potential enemy locations, mirroring the strategy used in the game!

Instead of being more shocking, the destructive devices the aliens use to sink ships are enormous shells that soar through the sky and impact vessels, causing massive damage. These shells resemble the pegs used in the classic board game, as it’s the pegs themselves that truly define the game, not their stand-ins or markers on a naval command map. In reality, these are actually massive pegs that are being dropped onto destroyers to neutralize them. This is the essence of the Battleship game.

1. The personalities in this film are classic, larger-than-life characters you’d expect from a movie of its kind. They’re both overly naive and overly intelligent all at once. Each performer brings a hilarious charm to their role. The story begins with Kitsch finding himself in a pickle while under the influence and attempting to grab a burrito, and later, after a time jump to the movie’s current timeline, he’s a naval lieutenant who continues his pursuit of the admiral’s daughter. What a character he is!

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As a devoted admirer, I’d rephrase it like this: In the climactic scene, Kitsch recruits genuine World War II veterans (a touching yet somewhat ironic choice given the film’s narrative contrasted with the gravity of the real-life Second World War) to sail the decommissioned battleship USS Missouri out to sea to vanquish extraterrestrial threats. The poignant anthem of anti-war sentiments, “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, echoes during the end credits, creating a striking juxtaposition. On one hand, war is detestable, the song communicates powerfully. Yet, on the other, the thrill of formidable naval might and the destruction of digital aliens seems to be applauded.

The essence of “Battleship” isn’t about dissecting its political undertones, or becoming emotionally involved with the characters or adherence to the board game. At its core, “Battleship” is about nine-time Grammy winner Robyn Rihanna Fenty, a cosmetics mogul and global star, standing on the USS Missouri – the ship where Japan surrendered in World War II. Here, Rihanna, famous for songs like “We Found Love” and “S&M,” is honorably battling an alien threat alongside veterans who served in a war that predates her birth by more than four decades.

Rihanna targets an alien and exclaims a modified expletive before unleashing one of the battleship’s colossal cannons, the thunderous explosion drowning out the remainder of her curse word, thereby maintaining the PG-13 rating for Battleship.

This, to me, is bafflingly stupid. It is also cinema. 

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2024-08-27 18:01