This Bank Teller’s Scandalous Scheme Left 80-Year-Old Clients Penniless—You Won’t Believe How!

by

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a bank teller’s position, must be in want of $255,000—preferably from the vulnerable and elderly. 😏

Permit me to introduce Mr. Mountee Brown of Maryland, aged seven-and-twenty, whose most recent accomplishments include bank fraud and aggravated identity theft—both of which, I daresay, are not usually listed among the qualifications for polite society.

According to the estimable—if decidedly unsmiling—gentlemen at the U.S. Attorney’s Office, Mr. Brown, possessing talents for deception rivalled only by a Regency rake, conspired with at least two companions to part five clients (four of whom, in their venerable eightieth years, truly ought to have been left in peace) from their funds.

Deploying his position as a teller, Mr. Brown invited his less-than-illustrious associates to “impersonate” the genuinely trusting clients, marching them up to the counter with all the subtlety of a bad actor in a country play. Their performance, while perhaps not ready for Drury Lane, was sufficient for at least twenty-six unauthorised withdrawals.

With a wry smile, Mr. Brown recorded the transactions as completed by “known clients”—a phrase here wielded with all the sincerity of a debutante’s compliment at her third ball.

The prosecutors, in language only a solicitor could love, narrate:

“Upon the 21st of October, in the Year of Our Lord 2022, Co-conspirator #1, bold as a gentleman lacking propriety, approached Mr. Brown’s teller station. Mr. Brown, fully aware that his visitor bore little resemblance to Victim #1, nevertheless obliged him with a tidy sum of $10,000, drawn from the account of the unwitting client, without so much as a by-your-leave, or indeed, the client’s knowledge or consent.

All papers, naturally, were in order—at least in the most imaginative sense. The records proudly proclaimed the customer a ‘known client’, and so convinced was Mr. Brown of his own tale, he listed his supervisor as an additional witness. Co-conspirator #1, with all the flourish of a scoundrel with a borrowed quill, affixed Victim #1’s name to the withdrawal ticket.”

This overture proved merely the beginning of the symphony. Mr. Brown repeated his exploits—his purse swelling with $30,200 deposited elsewhere, and he and his merry gang relieving various elders of a sum totalling at least $255,000. One wonders if his next act will be set not in a parlour, but a courtroom. 🧐💸

Read More

2025-05-04 21:03