In the so-called kingdom of Dogecoin, there dwells an enigmatic sage—known upon the fabled lands of X (formerly Twitter, obviously) as Mishaboar. Picture, if you will, this prophet upon a windswept mountain of memes, summoning the DOGE army not with noble bugle, but with a shrill warning wisped through the digital ether. Dogs may bark, but Mishaboar howls: beware, ye lovers of shiny tokens, especially when it comes to “lending products in crypto.” 🐶💸
Mishaboar, with all the gravitas of a czar at tax collection time, bemoans the state of crypto lending:
A Dire Proclamation About Crypto Lending
Why the fuss? He insists crypto’s not yet a safe playground for the masses, unless by “safe” you mean “suitable for professional gamblers and eternal optimists.” Will lending ever be safe for mere mortals? Mishaboar snorts. He places his bets on “probably never.”
In fact, he asserts, crypto lending schemes are ruled “at best” by a coterie of “immoral peddlers.” Exchange CEOs, take note, you’re cordially invited to this rogues’ gallery. Mishaboar waxes poetic on the art of exchanges—centralized and decentralized—promising to “safeguard” your shiny coins, only to drop them with a clatter that can be heard across Siberia or, worse, lose them somewhere between Vladivostok and the Bermuda Triangle.
It’s an industry run – at best – by lowly, immoral peddlers (this includes many exchange CEOs), where countless platforms promising to custody user funds – whether centralized or decentralized – have failed, either partially or catastrophically.
It will take a LOT more work and a…
— Mishaboar (@mishaboar) June 17, 2025
“Someday, perhaps,” muses our oracle, “an injection of honesty and effort will allow even your imperial grandpa to dabble in crypto without the risk of having to sell his samovar.” But optimism here is as thin on the ground as rubles in an April snowstorm.
The DOGE Account Purge: X Marks the Spot
Life in the Dogecoin cosmos, alas, is not all moonshots and happy doggies. At the end of May, Mishaboar, glancing over his shoulder like an exiled magician, revealed a fresh affliction—DOGE-themed X accounts vanishing faster than vodka at a wedding. He pounded his shoe (figuratively) upon X: “To whomever is behind this mass-suspension, confess your crimes!”
His suspicions grew with each suspended account. DOGE accounts gone in the blink of an eye, yet scammer accounts, like cockroaches in a Khrushchyovka, survive nuclear Twitter purges and require Herculean efforts to remove. Only with the intervention of larger, nobler accounts (picture the cavalry arriving on meme horses) do the scammers fall. And yet the innocent DOGE faithful lay slaughtered with record efficiency.
I want an admission of responsibility from whomever is pushing for these suspensions of accounts in the Dogecoin community. If they are doing it, they must own it.
The suspensions are happening too rapidly compared to X’s usual handling of these problems – and I know it, because…
— Mishaboar (@mishaboar) May 20, 2025
His theory? Either a Dickensian villain is maniacally reporting DOGE accounts one by one, or there’s a secret Doge-hunting taskmaster at X HQ with a mission more mysterious than the fate of the Romanovs.
Echoing his outcry, the valiant account @BackToTheDoge sounded the alarm as well, even daring to ping the imperious @ElonMusk. The response from Musk’s throne? Silence so profound it could be bottled and sold as an NFT.
Such is life in crypto’s grand theatre—where the hero may be a dog, the villain wears a CEO badge, and suspension may strike without warning. Curtain falls. Applause (and perhaps a stray bone thrown for good measure). 🎭🦴
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2025-06-17 16:32