US Government’s Wild Plan to Snag Bitcoin: Tariffs, Gold, and a Whole Lot of Nonsense!

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So, let me get this straight. A White House Advisor, Bo Hines, is out there saying the US government is cooking up some “creative” ways to snag more Bitcoin. Tariffs? Really? What’s next, a bake sale? 🍪

In a chat with crypto guru Anthony Pompliano, Hines spills the beans on this genius plan involving gold certificates. You know, those things that haven’t been relevant since the Great Depression? Apparently, if they can just magically revalue these certificates, they can buy Bitcoin. Because that’s how it works, right? Just wave a wand and poof! More Bitcoin! 🪄

He’s all like, “Senator Lummis has this brilliant idea with the Bitcoin Act of 2025.” Oh, sure, let’s just throw a number on it and hope it sticks! What’s next, the Bitcoin Act of 2026? 2027? At this rate, we’ll have a whole calendar of Bitcoin Acts! 📅

And get this: Hines thinks they can revalue gold certificates that are currently worth about $43 an ounce. Meanwhile, gold is sitting pretty at $3,100 an ounce. So, if they can just get that value up, they can buy more Bitcoin. It’s like saying, “If I can just convince my landlord that my apartment is worth a million bucks, I can buy a yacht!” 🚤

Oh, and let’s not forget the part where he mentions tariffs. Because nothing screams “let’s get Bitcoin” like slapping tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China. I mean, why not? Let’s just tax everyone until they cough up some Bitcoin! 💸

“We’re looking at many creative ways,” he says. Creative? More like desperate! It’s like a kid trying to sell lemonade in the winter. “Everything’s on the table,” he claims. Yeah, right! What’s next? Selling Bitcoin-flavored ice cream? 🍦

And just for the record, Bitcoin is trading at $84,904 right now. A whole 1% gain! Wow, hold the phone! Someone call the stock market! 📈

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2025-04-15 23:03