When Falcon Finance Flees CEXs: A Comedy of Cryptographic Errors

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In what can only be described as a mad dash to dodge the looming specter of financial doom, DWF Labs and their fearless co-founder, Andrei Grachev, have decided to withdraw all funds from centralized exchanges. Yes, folks, they’re playing a high-stakes game of “let’s not get hacked, shall we?” It’s like saving your lunch money by hiding it in your sock drawer—where it’s sweaty but safe! 🧦💰

Grachev, probably clutching a mug of herbal tea while issuing a heartfelt update to the crypto community, declared that the team had moved their funds far, far away from the CEXs. Why? Security concerns, of course! Like a mother hen pulling her chicks under her wing, they’re huddling together in a virtual coop, hoping the fox doesn’t come with its sharpened wit and even sharper picks. The pièce de résistance? An independent auditor who, armed with an attestation letter, has verified that their funds are indeed MIA from the clutches of those centralized exchanges. 🙄

“We moved all funds away from CEXes—did I mention we got an attestation letter from our auditors confirming our Houdini act?” Grachev quipped, no doubt with a glimmer of pride while dodging awkward questions about what exactly an attestation letter looks like in the wild.

They’re also concocting a new transparency page, presumably to share the dramatic saga of their funds, crypto holdings, and “look, ma, no CEX!” triumphs. It’s all in the works, which sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for “we’ll figure it out when we have time.” But hey, any day now, it’ll be as dazzling as a dog wearing sunglasses. 🐶😎

Why is Falcon Finance breaking up with CEXs?

The decision to distance themselves from centralized exchanges reeks of a self-preservation tactic that’s not unlike avoiding the ex who still owes you money. It’s a clear signal that they want to beef up their risk management strategies and, gulp, be independent. This is not a clingy relationship, but one where you pour the last of the milk in your cereal and realize, “Wait, I’m alone now!”

Grachev made it clear that this was, indeed, a moment to embrace their independence and look ahead. By safe-guarding their assets from the likes of account freezes and hacking episodes—things that have haunted many CEXs like a bad sequel—they’re trying to steer their ship through these turbulent financial waters without losing their valuable cargo. 🚢

This entire escapade aligns with their commitment to market-neutral strategies. Avoiding directional trades is like saying, “Let’s play dodgeball, but only with soft pillows!” They’re keeping a strict reserve backing for every USDf minted. Because why wouldn’t you want to present your financial strategy as a cozy security blanket?

According to their recent brief—let’s hope it wasn’t scribbled on a napkin in a café—Falcon’s reserves are generously overcollateralized at a rate of 116%. What’s that mean? Well, 89% are chilling in stablecoins and good ol’ Bitcoin (BTC). This is like finding out your broke friend just won the lottery and can afford to share their wealth—but only after their accountant signs off on it. 📈

By ditching the centralized exchanges, they can now hold these reserves on-chain. This means they can openly display proof of reserves and engage in financial operations that scream, “Look at us! No more secrets; only transparency!” all while balancing on the tightrope of crypto chaos.

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2025-07-22 17:15